Today, I signed up for an online dating service, a couple of days after my divorce. I got my first batch of matches, and number one was a smiling picture of the woman who had just divorced my ass after 20+ years together. Her profile shows she has to have been active there for months. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I re-joined a popular on-line dating service. I'd first signed up 3 years ago and was matched with a wonderful woman. After about a year, she broke up with me. I was devastated. After two years of trying to win her back, I'd decided it's best just to move on. Guess who they matched me with? FML
Today, I decided to check out a dating site, when I stumbled across my ex wife's profile. She'd had it for four out of the five years of our marriage. And no, it didn't rate us as a good match. FML
Today, I felt ready to trust men again so I had a little foray into Tinder, just to see what’s out there for a divorcee in her 40s. The very first guy I matched with catfished me with his photo and wanted to buy my dirty undies and socks, in a ziplock bag “to preserve the aroma.” FML
Today, I joined a dating website and spent all day filling out and improving my profile. My first match is a guy who relentlessly tried to date me for all 4 years of high school. Now he just has more reasons to tell me how much we're meant to be. We're a 97% match. FML
Today, I was looking at dating profiles with my single friend, trying to find a guy for her, and we found my husband's profile. FML
Today, I removed all my online dating profiles. Apparently my ex-husband finds stalking me online preferable to spending time with his new girlfriend. FML
Today, an attractive woman was flirting with me from across a coffee shop. When I walked over and introduced myself, she served me with my divorce paperwork. FML
Today, I joined a dating website for the first time in 12 years and spent an hour carefully crafting my profile. Ten minutes after posting, my sibling texted me screenshots. I’d linked my profile to Facebook, where my bio appeared under my real name for half my extended family. Aunt Linda left a heart reaction. FML
Today, I convinced myself I needed to get over my ex-girlfriend. I spent twenty minutes signing up for a new dating site, only to find out, that the only other profile on the site of a person within 200 km, is my ex-girlfriend. FML
Today, I signed up for a dating site and used a photo of my mother and me at a wedding. Everyone stops responding when they find out they're talking to me and not her. FML
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Top comments
funsize003 0
ahhh what a bitch. I'm sorry, you deserve a better wife. what you do now: make an account under some random name, with a really hot guy as the profile picture. begin to talk to her, get her really interested. meet up with her on a blind date, when she sees you, smile yell, "gotcha, ****!" and move on. :)
diet_otaku 0
lol, you should contact the dating site and tell them they need to fix their matching system, if your #1 match ended up divorcing you. XD
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Comments (155)
lali94 0
haha FYL. sux for you
um_duh 0
#104 - why is she a *****? You don't know the situation - for all we know the OP could have been abusive towards his wife, or he could have cheated or he might not have had a job for 12 years & she got fed up - you don't know so don't judge!
ilaughatfmls2 0
U gt pimped bro srry happens to the best of us
starvingxartist 0
okay, seriously, i have no sympathy for you. if you just got divorced two days ago WHY ARE YOU ON MATCH.COM. especially since clearly, you're not over your ex-wife. yeah, okay, it sucks that she'd been active on there for three months, but guess what? it doesn't take a day to get a divorce and if she was divorcing you, i'm sure she was dating during the separation period.
24788 7
Shes probably known it's gone bad for a while.
EcGyMz 0
If the dating service put her as your top match you should try to get back together.
i_b_rage 0
...if you like pina coladas...
BackStroke 0
That's what you call a *****. Say it with me kids...W-H-O-R-E *****.
YungMarlon23 0
Damn... that's messed up, that divorce must have been planned for awhile... But that's probly why yu lasted over 20 years for the while, she's jus a hoe fo no money :D... (p.s. Divorces are gay, and my parents had theirs finalized bac on janurary 21st, after a good day. People need to stop gettin em!)
withered 30
#113 Actually no... People SHOULD get divorced if they (one or both) no longer want to be together.
robodoll 0
That's sad. Reality seriously bites sometimes. At least you know one definite NO on there for now