Today, I signed a two-year lease on a house. My next-door neighbor said she's in love with me, threatened my girlfriend, and won't stop blasting Taylor Swift. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I moved into my new apartment. My neighbor is apparently crazy and thinks I'm trying to 'steal' her husband. She watches me and is super paranoid. I have a two year lease. FML
Today, I signed the lease on my first apartment alone with my boyfriend. We've lived here a month before we got to sign. Today is also the day my neighbors decided to show how they're night owls: all I hear is banging on the walls and them loudly talking and yelling. This will be a long year. FML
Today, I realised my girlfriend likes to play Taylor Swift whenever she wants me to leave her alone. FML
Today, I'm hiding from my creepy next-door neighbor. She constantly trash-talks my partner of two years, she's mentally unstable, looks to me for support, has a raging crush on me, and she drunkenly tried to make out with me last weekend. I'm two months older than her daughter. FML
Today, I got home and noticed people were looking at my next-door neighbor's house that's for rent. Peering closer, I realized my ex-boyfriend and the girl he cheated on me with a few months ago were inside. After they left, the "For Rent" sign came down. I've got new neighbors. FML
Today, I rented a house for 5 years with my girlfriend, only to find out she is the actual owner. FML
Today, my fiancé and I just moved into our first apartment together. Our neighbor across the hall? My ex-boyfriend who I've had to file three separate restraining orders on. FML
Today, my next-door neighbor decided to become a rapper. FML
Today, I learned that my apartment building has two new tenants: my ex-girlfriend and her fiancé, the guy she cheated on me with. FML
Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
UsernameAnxiety 14
Taylor Swift... Sounds like a living, lucid nightmare. I feel for you.
rg350dx 29
I thought it wasn't THAT terrible until I read won't stop blasting Taylor swift. My deepest condolences.
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Comments (107)
Second_to_All 11
Retaliate! Crank up the metal. See how many times she can stand listening to Master of Puppets in a row.
cosmosis 12
As awesome as Master of the Puppets is, change it up with some Alestorm. Pirate Metal is sure to piss anyone off eventually! Arrrrrrrghhh;)
Enslaved 38
Gotta go harder! Even Taylor Swift fans enjoy Metallica.
Llama_Face89 34
**** it of you're gonna go that direction go all out and throw on some Bloodbath or Dimmu Borgir.
Llama_Face89 34
After listening to Ominous Bloodvomit several times in a row chances are she'll be the one moving.
MermaidAnnariea 10
DIMMU. SO MUCH WIN. OP, then there's also things like alestorm, amon amarth, arkona, carach angren. play some korpiklaani too. then switch it up with ear-splitting opera, and play the tuba BADLY. hahaha
perdix 31
It's good to have options.
DocBastard 40
Leases can be broken. So can stereos and legs. Just saying.
auctiongirl 10
Yes, a lease can indeed be broken but not without some cost .
GRgoldfish 19
I usually have something witty or smartass thing to say, but all can say is that maybe (if you can) just sit down with her and tell her that you're in a committed relationship, and you don't see her like that. best of luck op.
perdix 31
#15, when I don't have anything to say, there's always "Aw, I'll be your friend."
FarFromHome_fml 17
Worst thing to say if she genuinely has an obsession! Trust me, I've known people to take that as an invitation to keep trying to get the girlfriend out of the way
Dave_Davington 35
Blast "One More Minute" by Weird Al right back at her. That should get the point across.
RadeonDerp 24
And if she still doesn't get the message, "You're pitiful" is the answer!
CrissyyyS2 22
Sounds like another failed horror movie plot. Your neighbor would be spying on you and your gf. She murders your gf so there's no competition. Then she tries to hook up with you. She's going to fail... Then decides no one else can have you so she wants to murder you too. Theme song: Scary version of Taylor Swift - You Belong With Me?
TheWorldGreatest 8
I would have a serious talk with your stalker! Before things get out of hand!
avapaige1234 19
Is she playing "You Belong With Me?"
RedPillSucks 33
You tell yourself you're not my kind But you don't even know your mine (Yeah, I changed the last line from mind to mine)
ManInTheMachine 20
Just start blasting I Knew You Were Trouble in retaliation. Actually, on second thought, sabotaging her stereo or whatever she's using is a better idea.
GrinchFu1 27
I'm gonna call bullshit on this one. See, I don't think this is real as much as I think this is some sort of test to see how well your sitcom script will be taken by the bigwigs at CBS, NBC, ABC, and FOX. Pitch the script, bro. You got a winner with this one. Hahahahaha!!!
ManInTheMachine 20
Read the commenting policy. Unless you recognize it as repost, don't bother complaining about how "fake" it seems.