Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while I was at work. Instead of what I listed, he came back with hot pockets, ice cream and beer. I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave my boyfriend a $300 cooler for Valentine's Day. When I asked what he got me, he pointed at my stomach. I'm 3 months pregnant with his baby. FML
Today, I sent my husband out for baby formula and cocoa butter to soothe my boobs from breastfeeding. He came back with powdered milk and deep heat rub. AND he still wanted praise for at least having tried to get what I asked for. I would kill him, but I need his wages while I'm on maternity. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He seemed thrilled, and went to buy some wine to celebrate. He left 11 hours ago and won't come back. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my husband by bringing home a case of beer and renting us a porno. He decided to surprise me by telling me he was leaving me for his pregnant girlfriend. FML
Today, my husband offered to do the weekly grocery shopping. Because he has never done the shopping before, I made him a list of what we needed and other optional foods to give him an idea of what to get. He came back with a week's worth of ramen noodles and 2 litres of soda. FML
Today, my fiancee asked me to text her a grocery list. I asked for meat, fruit, vegetables, you know, the staples. She came back with tons of sugar cereal, pop tarts, cookie dough, and other unhealthy crap. We have no other food, our monthly budget is gone, and junk food gives me horrible stomach cramps. FML
Today, as I searched for food to take to work for lunch, I noticed that the only recent addition to our fridge is chocolate milk and popsicles. My mom went grocery shopping yesterday. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He went outside for a "breather" and never came back. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping. When I turned around I noticed a group of teens passing by laughing. I didn't think anything of it until I got to my cart. The losers had left a pack of Slim Fast in my cart. I'm pregnant. FML
Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML
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Top comments
krysxkatastrophe 14
Ice cream is awesome! I'm lactose intolerant too, but I don't care when it comes to that!
knights95 9
But they have cheese in them. Fail.
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Comments (294)
blondie1208 17
look on the brightside. you still have hotpockets!
geeksaresexy 18
Which she can't eat..
heartbrakej 0
ydi for getting preggys out of wedlock
sockmunky 3
sounds like a grade a douchebag
milansarpal 0
that's your fault for not waiting for the eight guy to have a baby with
iL0V3you 0
30 lmao that's freaking hilarious
gchartier90 0
now I want hot pockets beer and ice cream
JKNA 2
that's the same thing my boyfriend would do! I'm pregnant and lactose intolerant I feel your pain
Sukismama 2
Come on people, seriously! I'm so such of these lactose intolerant fmls. I am lactose intolerant but I can eat ice cream drink milk and all that good stuff because there are these little things called LACTAID PILLS for people with this. Pop one with the first bite of dairy.and your good
iamtwiggyme 0
Are lactaid pills safe during pregnancy?
ChibiChibi_fml 28
I am lactose-intolerant as well and the only thing Lactaid pills help me to be able to eat is a piece of cheese. Even if I take like five of those things and a 2oz scoop of ice cream with still leave me with stomach pains, bloating, and diarrhea. Everyone is different and depending on the severity of your intolerance Lactaid may not do a damn thing.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
strike the and and make with before still into will. I have no idea what the heck happened there.
Sukismama 2
*you dont even need a prescription just about ten bucks for 50 of em. Which makes me think this is fake because any person with lactose intolerance would know this
Saigee1997 3
Uhm. No. My best friend had allergic reactions to dairy products, or was lactose intolerant, for a while and had to drink Lactaid for like 6 months. I tried it and it was gross xD But really though. Not everybody takes the pills, shut up.
geeksaresexy 18
Not everyone takes that, it's not available everywhere AND it doesn't work for everyone.. I am so mildly lactose intolerant I barely notice it but other people get incredibly sick!
theonlysweetpea 10
I'd kick his ass when that baby turned 1! (They'd be old enough to wave byebye to Daddy when they take him to the hospital