Kids: Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop...

By MyBallsForSaleOnEbay - 21/08/2015 15:25 - Malta - Naxxar

Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 139

You deserved it 7 245

Kids

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Same thing different taste

YAAAAAAAAAAAASS

By shat - 12/12/2015 07:14 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I woke up to the feeling of something crawling up my leg. I threw back the bed sheets and saw it was a cockroach. My dad said my ensuing scream was so girlish that he wondered what the hell my sister was doing in my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 974

You deserved it 2 496

By I_Has_A_Fishy - 10/07/2012 19:33 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 673

You deserved it 3 452

By Uh oh.... - 05/05/2019 16:00

Today, I was awakened by a small scary dark figure approaching me while making creepy noises. I screamed, kicked it away, and buried my face under my pillow. Later, after braving up, I turned on the lights. It was my sick 3-year-old niece, now dazed and coughing blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 079

You deserved it 2 778

By funyfunkid - 22/12/2009 19:18 - United States

Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over me and the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 133

You deserved it 47 911

You big fanny

By Anonymous - 30/09/2012 17:57 - Germany - Hagen

Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 428

You deserved it 31 249

Freakout

By DisgustingCreatures - 04/08/2016 18:53 - United States - Houston

Today, I was peacefully using the toilet when I heard a familiar crunching sound behind me. After shooting up and frantically looking around, I hesitantly closed the toilet lid - just in time to see a black cockroach slip into a crevice of the toilet. The thing was close enough to go up my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 600

You deserved it 1 157

By tiredmom - 07/07/2016 15:03 - United States - Phoenix

Today, my son found a cockroach in his bed. I had to kill the thing and wash all his sheets and stuffed animals before he'd finally agree to go back to bed, three hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 326

You deserved it 1 569

Public announcement

By Pissed - 05/10/2011 15:29 - Australia

Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 730

You deserved it 8 401

By aunty_social - 25/08/2018 14:30

Today, I took my 5-year-old nephew camping. I was about to take him to the outhouse for a bathroom break when he flung the door of the camper open and shouted at the top of his lungs to the entire campground, "We are going to poop now!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 292

You deserved it 315

By lingadoo - 07/12/2012 05:46 - Kuwait - Kuwait

Today, I thought I felt something itch my butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just my imagination, I did my business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 048

You deserved it 4 848

Shannon98 16

Saturday 22 August 2015 0:54

Aww your nephew sounds sweet.

Sebastian2022 22

Saturday 22 August 2015 0:50

I think your 5 year old nephew bought the balls on eBay! :P

Comments

Sebastian2022 22

Saturday 22 August 2015 0:50

I think your 5 year old nephew bought the balls on eBay! :P

vikky538 28

Saturday 22 August 2015 17:56

Yup.. Two strong metal balls

thejonac 21

Saturday 22 August 2015 19:26

reminds me of what russell peters said during one of his shows HAHA

ArtistKs 12

Monday 24 August 2015 0:29

nah that's cause he's maltese :P

NYM88 26

Saturday 22 August 2015 0:51

You have no balls to sell man.

tantanpanda 26

Saturday 22 August 2015 4:48

All bets are off if it were flying. You could be the most manly person in the world, but you would freak out if it came flying at you.

countryb_cth 38

Sunday 23 August 2015 10:57

It's even worse when you wear glasses, anytime a bug flies at you it looks 10x bigger. I don't care if someone calls me a wimp if I see a giant bug fly at me imma freak out.