Today, I saw my cat licking something on the side of the road and went to check what it was. It was someone's old cigarette. I now know why she wants to be let out so often: She's addicted to nicotine. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML
Today, I think my cat is getting high. Whenever she finds her drug of choice, she sniffs it, then rolls around in it, purring ecstatically. Typical catnip reaction, right? Wrong. It’s my dirty underwear she's into. FML
Today, I realised why I’m so irritable these days. My former flatmate smoked so many cigarettes that, now he’s moved out and taken the smoke with him, I’m going through nicotine withdrawal. I realised this after I saw cigarettes in a shop and couldn’t stop staring at them. FML
Today, my mom found a pack of cigarettes in my pocket. She hates smoking, so she tore every single cigarette to pieces, then emptied a bag of kitty litter on them. On my bed. FML
Today, I found out the reason why my cat would sometimes go outside for days at a time was because when she would go out, my neighbor would lure her in with cat treats and keep her there for up to 2 days. She's an indoor cat now. FML
Today, I spent hours in town getting everything I'd need to make dinner, taking the cat to the vet, getting gardening supplies, and filling up our extra tanks with gas for the mowers. I came home, only for Mom to wordlessly plunk down an empty pack of cigarettes, and grin like a Cheshire cat, then sip her wine. FML
Today, I caught my mom eating cat biscuits. We don't have a cat. FML
Today, my cat, who is very 'don't-ever-touch-me', jumped up next to me as if she wanted to be stroked. In reality, she wanted to share a hellish fart. I need a new cat. FML
Today, I realized my cat has a foot fetish. She keeps randomly flopping over on my feet while I'm walking, and will lick my toes if I am barefooted. I have absolutely no idea where this came from, but it makes me super uncomfortable. Even my other cat looks at her like she's gone insane. FML
Today, after being filled with joy after seeing my very elderly cat finally enjoying the sun in my garden, I skipped over to give her a hug. Turns out she was taking a shit. FML
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Top comments
kaysheik 16
Time for an intervention.
jonny201 11
Just...how? And also, how!?
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Comments (34)
mylsux 15
Only in Canada
username_taken1 2
Give the cat a lighter
Tsumetai_ 11
i've heard animals are attracted by the smell of the cigarette butts and will sometimes eat them, which often kills them. i've heard of birds dying with belly's full of cig butts.
obewonstrangeone 18
Next thing you know, she'll be selling herself to the local toms just for a catnip fix. If you don't talk to your cat about her self destructive behavior, who will?
capnbzarr 43
Here's a great example of why the moderators taking away the "YDI" button is a terrible idea: They can't conceive of why the writer would have deserved this because they lack the knowledge or imagination. I say the writer deserved it, because cats shouldn't be let outdoors. It's better for the cat's health, better for the health of local songbirds, and better for your neighbors who don't have to clean up its shit in their gardens.
captain_hero89 22
Better than catnip. That stuff is a gateway drug
RememberSchlitz 9
Time to call the vet for a prescription for Chat-ix. [crickets] See, cuz 'Chantix' is a stop-smoking pill, and 'chat' is French for... nevermind.
Bunnyluver 20
LOL, I think that's cute!
Bunnyluver 20
Wow, that's not good at all. Dogs and cats are more prone to respiratory problems. I would definitely talk with your vet.
frankmz 17
I got confronted by my neighbors who are big pet lovers because one of the cats we had was hit by a car and she saw it happen. She came with her sister and they were both upset with me. Very upset. But at least that cat wasn't into cigarettes. Just liked to be free.
Witchylady 18
That's terrible.