Today, I saw an old man who needed help crossing the street. I went over to him and helped him across the street. When he thanked me, I said, "No problem, sir." They responded by hitting me in the happy sacks and screaming that they were a woman. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I saw a little old lady trying to cross the street. I went over and tried to help her. Turned out she was actually just a really short young woman. As soon as I took her arm, she screamed in front of everyone and accused me of trying to molest her. FML
Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went over and helped her up. Instead of thanking me, she called me a pervert and slapped me around with her cane. FML
Today, I saw an old man struggling with three bags, so I offered to carry them for him. He must not have heard me because when I bent down to take the bags, he thought I was stealing them and punched me in the face. FML
Today, feeling magnanimous, I decided to help a frail-looking old lady across a busy street. She managed to "accidentally" hit me in the balls with her cane no fewer than three times before we reached the other side. FML
Today, I began to walk across the street when I saw a very familiar old lady struggle across it. I walked over to help her, and only after she had blown her rape whistle and socked me in the nuts did she realize I was her grandson. FML
Today, an old lady fell in the street, and I rushed to help her. As I tried to help her to her feet, she started screaming, "She pushed me! She pushed me!" I froze up in shock, and ended up being chased by some guy who thought I'd attacked her. FML
Today, I was at work as a grocery store cashier. I felt a hand slap my ass. Turning around I saw an old man winking at me and I screamed. When my manager came to deal with the problem she didn't believe me and gave the man a $25 gift card for "the trouble" I caused. FML
Today, I saw an elderly woman in need of help of crossing a street. I helped her across. On the way she just about fell and held onto me to keep from hitting the ground. After she left on her bus I reached for my wallet. It was gone. I had just been robbed by a 70 year old. FML
Today, I helped an old man who fell over. Turns out he was drunk and had pissed himself. He decided to thank me with a hug. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
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Top comments
shankzilla 0
why does everybody and their ******* idiot mother use the words 'happy sacks' on this site. its maybe funny the first time they used it; you deserve everything bad that happens to you for referring to your balls and happy sacks.
anniecook 0
I origionally used balls, but i guess the website just loves to write "happy sacks" i have never used those words in my life, trust me. AND TO EVERYONE ELSE: and im sooo very sorry for that horrible epidemic of "They."i really hope the sky doesnt fall
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Comments (79)
sithwithashotgun 0
Have none of you heard of singular ¨they¨? It is very debated, but many consider the word ¨they¨ proper grammar when used as a non gender-specific singular pronoun. No matter how awkward it sounds, it works.
quazimozart 19
Yeah seriously it's grammatically correct, I don't see the problem
kevind23 0
This site is called "**** My Life," not "Oh Dangit, That Sucked!" Why do testicles keep coming up as "happy sacks"? And why do you have more than one scrotum?
Quinnjamin 0
any1 who said something about OP saying "happy sacks", i totally agree with u
Cristaderzi 0
Lol O hope so Mercy Fml Lol
Ella_fml 17
Oh my! After the man kicked you, your "Happy Sacks" (whatever those are,) they started screaming "I'm a woman!!!" ???
No_fyl_cuz_ydi 0
next time just say your welcome
silverx10 0
YDI for using the term "happy sack", be it pluralized or otherwise. Seriously. 's the second time I've seen that here. At LEAST.
Kharma25 0
Yes, "happy sacks" seems a little... childish... but honestly people, I think the editors are changing the wording. I don't think the OP actually typed it out like that. My reason for thinking that? I was moderating FMLs earlier in the day and ran across one that read something along these lines, "Today, my FML was published. I came to the site to read it and realized that the word "testicles" had been changed to "happy sacks". FML" I'd be willing to bet that the author of that FML (which most likely won't ever get published) was the same as this OP.
joshizzle3 1
wow pronoun fail. YDI.
FarSide 23
That's what happens when you try to help an ugly, lesbian feminazi.