Today, I saw a Red Tailed Hawk land on my car and spend a few minutes looking at his reflection in the windshield. This was all really neat until I found out he badly scratched my hood with his large talons. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, I learned that my hairdo must look like a rat. I found out when a hawk swooped down and dug its claws into my head while I was sunbathing. FML
Today, while driving with my three year-old, I was showing her the different kinds of birds. I pointed out a bright red cardinal perched in a row of hedges. She squealed as it took flight, so happy to see such a brightly colored birdie fly. Until it hit my windshield. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to drive my car through a flock of vultures eating road kill. Since a bird hit the mirror and broke it, I now have to pay for a replacement. FML
Today, an asshat in a Foghorn Leghorn t-shirt let his piece-of-crap mongrel dog do some sort of rain dance on the roof of my car, scratching the paintwork. He was a huge guy, so my backbone left town and I just smiled as if it was cute. FML
Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML
Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today a big-ass hawk swooped down and carried off my daughter’s dog. FML
Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML
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Top comments
Niicky_fml 20
do the chickens have large talons? *adjusts glasses and sniffles*
Mi24hind 0
Hawks. They will admire themselves while destroying cars.
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Comments (100)
Demonyx 6
at least it wasn't "Today I saw a Red Tailed Hawk landing on my car, I tried to shoo it away before it scratched my car with it's massive talons, I saved my car but now have x amount of stitches on my arms head and back"
SteelCladAngel 0
haha my car is an ugly little beast so scratches from hawk talons would have added to the character ;D
spoyhawk 1
your car sounds like the type of car i want... kind of like a child teddy bear...
spoyhawk 1
a red-tailed hawk is christofer drew ingles "sprit animal" thats why he has it tattooed on to his neck. kjust thought i should tell yall.. he is lead singer of a band called "never shout never" by the way.
spoyhawk 1
*you're and basically youre calling nature an idiot..... umm.... yeah contradiction.
SleepOnStones 5
You should've slapped the shit out of that hawk.
MeBeYourFriend 0
where the hell is Ben Dover in all this
vickill 0
that's what you get
MegaBear 0
should have got a falcon...
gunman15 4
what kind of car then we will see if I cry or not
MrRayBans 8
HEY! To Native Americans, Red Tailed Hawks are good luck. Owls are bad luck. Consider yourself lucky.