Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I saw a woman who I thought was pregnant on the bus. Trying to be nice, I offered her my seat and congratulated her. She wasn't pregnant, just holding a large bag of groceries. The entire bus heard me and the death glare she gave could’ve turned me to stone. FML
Today, I’m 9 months pregnant. I was in a grocery store when this little hellspawn came tearing ass down the aisle right at me. I instinctively turned to the side to protect my belly, while the brat crashed into my hip and fell backward. His cunt of a mother cussed me out for knocking down her “baby”. FML
Today, my pregnant wife and I got separated while out shopping. She ended up having meltdown and crying so hard the manager had to call me over the PA. FML
Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML
Today, I was carrying some bags out of a store, and my shirt had scooted up a little. I had no free hands, so I ignored it. A woman stopped me to tell me that bare midriffs are only attractive on skinny girls, "not fat ones." I'm 6 months pregnant. FML
Today, a pregnant woman asked me to give her a demonstration on how to push when having a baby. I agreed and pushed, but I may have pushed a little too hard because I shat myself. The pregnant woman laughed and said she was hoping that would happen. FML
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML
Today, I was riding my bike to work in a hurry and hit a pothole. I flew off and hit the ground hard. I was badly shaken, but an old lady came over, checked me out and helped me to my feet. After she left the scene, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet while "helping" me. FML
Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML
Today, my mother asked a woman at the clothing store we go to all the time when her baby was due. Turns out the woman isn't pregnant. FML
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Top comments
sammiller4 3
never assume a woman is pregnant unless its extremely obvious
perdix 31
If you were a plumpa humpa, you could have said, "I'd be happy to get you there, ma'am."
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Comments (273)
MrFerret 0
Well then shut up about your friend and her cigarrettes unless she is like smokin with her uterus, that I wanna see.
somynamesjanae 0
OP, you should of said "yeah not anymore!" lol
diensthunds 8
no good dead goes unrewarded
1beto3 0
haha that's happen to mee! I feel you !
KBruce317 0
Wow. Someone has a stick up their ass. Go get some lube and take it out. And P.S. people think that smoking cigarettes while pregnant equals the baby being way underweight, having major health problems and having horrible nicotine withdrawls so TONS of people look down upon it. No need to get your panties in a bunch
xXSCENExFREAKXx 0
never say someone is prego unless he tells you
americanreject 0
o.o
soccerstar5730 3
AHAHAHAH
MrFerret 0
Yea u said some ppl "think". Ur friends baby was fine no need to post stupid shit, no one cares. PS I love sticks there so wat b****
Nagamori 0
Your fault for treating her like her only value is as an incubator. Should have asked her if *she* was okay, because she is a person.