Work: Today, I returned to work after celebrating the New Year in Mexico....

By Anonymous - 05/01/2011 20:22 - United States

Today, I returned to work after celebrating the New Year in Mexico. I wasn't feeling well, but didn't want to call in sick after already taking a vacation. Now I'm at work with diarrhea, and trotting to the bathroom every 30 minutes. My commute home usually takes around an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 479

You deserved it 5 807

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Same thing different taste

By noworkformeplease - 09/03/2017 16:00

Today, I had to call out of work because I was ill, but they didn't believe me because today was the day I was supposed to come back from vacation. Now I'm stuck at work, constantly running to the bathroom, and they still won't let me go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 267

You deserved it 381

Lava

By not_fakingit - 22/09/2013 04:26 - Canada - Montr?al

Today, I joked with my boss about calling in sick to work tomorrow with food poisoning to avoid taking the Sunday shift. Tonight, I'm sitting on the toilet bowl in agonizing pain with combination diarrhea and vomiting. My shift starts in 3 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 564

You deserved it 11 247

By crap - 02/07/2019 00:01

Today, I was tired from an all-nighter I'd pulled because I thought I had the next four days off work. I got called in, and went because I have bills to pay. However, the amount of energy drinks I drank to stay on top of my job duties gave me such bad diarrhea, I had to go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 547

You deserved it 656

By Anonymous - 02/08/2013 21:34 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 021

You deserved it 5 403

By Anonymous - 21/04/2015 15:40 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, despite having a stomach bug, I went into work, as my boss is overseas and had warned me not to take any sick leave until she returned. After 4 hours and vomiting twice, I left. She found out and sent me an email bitching me out for coming in sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 379

You deserved it 2 933

Walk, don't run

By Anonymous - 19/07/2022 03:00 - Finland

Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 113

By Anonymous - 15/02/2012 05:09 - United States

Today, I woke 2 hours before my alarm was supposed to go off, feeling incredibly sick. I then ran downstairs and had diarrhea while I threw up. I spent Valentine's Day having diarrhea every time I coughed or sneezed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 908

You deserved it 2 961

By Wow - 23/12/2018 16:00

Today, I have a job interview after months of struggling to find work. I also woke up with explosive diarrhea and can’t be away from the toilet for more than 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 634

You deserved it 148

By I stink - 18/12/2018 15:30

Today, my boyfriend and I were finally able to settle on having a day out together after putting it off for months because of work/other random reasons. This morning I woke up with the worst case of diarrhea I’ve ever had in my life. I won’t be leaving the bathroom anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 369

You deserved it 230

Not a morning person

By Anonymous - 30/01/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I was forced to come in to work early in the morning. For me, that means I will have a pounding migraine, vomiting, and diarrhea for at least the next two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 281

dani22097 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 22:36

lemme guess... you drank their water

VivaLaCobra22 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 22:33

no more burritos for you!

Comments

VivaLaCobra22 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 22:33

no more burritos for you!

alwa7sh 2

Thursday 6 January 2011 2:17

I am jheniiifer jlopez I love tacos y burritos!!

I_like_chicken 0

Thursday 6 January 2011 13:46

it's not burrito, it's burrritoo (Russel Peters reference)

yohanner 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 22:34

adult diapers

youjustmademelol 4

Monday 5 March 2012 19:47

Or a bucket the stronger the better, we don't want shit on the car

lexi_223 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 22:34

oh that's terrible. I hope you feel a bit better by the time you have to go home :/

skatingalyy 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 22:35

oh that sucks! D:

VirtKitty 8

Wednesday 5 January 2011 22:35

Thanx for exposing the entire office to whatever fun virus you have....

dani22097 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 22:36

lemme guess... you drank their water

AlienX_fml 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 22:37

you should have called out. bosses usually expect people to be sick after a vacation. plus u went to mexico... they would understand ur sickness. ydi

Phazzer 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 22:38

I deal with that every day of my life. I haven't had a solid bowel movement in almost two years.

unidentified_sta 5

Wednesday 5 January 2011 22:42

Thanks for the enlightenment.

SeasonedLemur 5

Wednesday 5 January 2011 22:52

Hahahaha you sound exactly like my friend rob!

rockerguy73 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 22:03

what happened that caused that?

MaddaCheeb 0

Wednesday 5 January 2011 22:39

that's going to suck.

Blackmail111 9

Wednesday 5 January 2011 22:41

some advice don't eat left over nachos on the toilet

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The Top

Today, I ran into my ex at the mall. He’s married, with a 2 year-old. Three years ago he ended our 6-year relationship because he said he didn’t believe in marriage and kids. Sorry for not being good enough to achieve those things with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 126

You deserved it 224

Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 318

You deserved it 9 464

The Top

Today, I got flustered by the gorgeous sandwich artist at Subway and ordered a “meat-long foot-ball.” On Rye of course. FML

I agree, your life sucks 631

You deserved it 254

Today, I saw my bike locked outside a Starbucks down the street from my house. It was stolen about 10 days ago from my communal laundry room. There was even a cop parked across the street, but I have no proof to show that bike even belonged to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 902

You deserved it 3 870

Today, I went out to a store. I didn't have a bra on under my shirt, but some stranger offered to buy me one, because she didn't like the fact that my nipples were hard, and her husband was able to see them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 268

You deserved it 527

Today, my girlfriend saw the name "Melissa" on my phone's contact list. After refusing to tell her who it was, she accused me of being a cheater, broke up with me and stormed out of my house. Melissa is the name of a woman from Craigslist who was going to sell me an antique engagement ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 779

You deserved it 9 410

Today, I attended the will reading of the old lady who accidentally ran me over with her car years ago. I was affectionately mentioned and was left with something rather substantial. I had to listen through all that while getting evil leers and silently judged by family members who got squat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 608

You deserved it 726

Today, while I was going to the bathroom, my engagement ring fell off into the toilet, which then automatically flushed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 446

You deserved it 5 032

Same thing different taste

Lava

Walk, don't run

Not a morning person

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