Today, I returned to work after celebrating the New Year in Mexico. I wasn't feeling well, but didn't want to call in sick after already taking a vacation. Now I'm at work with diarrhea, and trotting to the bathroom every 30 minutes. My commute home usually takes around an hour. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I had to call out of work because I was ill, but they didn't believe me because today was the day I was supposed to come back from vacation. Now I'm stuck at work, constantly running to the bathroom, and they still won't let me go home. FML
Today, I joked with my boss about calling in sick to work tomorrow with food poisoning to avoid taking the Sunday shift. Tonight, I'm sitting on the toilet bowl in agonizing pain with combination diarrhea and vomiting. My shift starts in 3 hours. FML
Today, I was tired from an all-nighter I'd pulled because I thought I had the next four days off work. I got called in, and went because I have bills to pay. However, the amount of energy drinks I drank to stay on top of my job duties gave me such bad diarrhea, I had to go home. FML
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, despite having a stomach bug, I went into work, as my boss is overseas and had warned me not to take any sick leave until she returned. After 4 hours and vomiting twice, I left. She found out and sent me an email bitching me out for coming in sick. FML
Today, I was on holiday over the Christmas period and ended up with food poisoning. I spent most of the time on the toilet. I think I’ll stay home next time. FML
Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML
Today, I woke 2 hours before my alarm was supposed to go off, feeling incredibly sick. I then ran downstairs and had diarrhea while I threw up. I spent Valentine's Day having diarrhea every time I coughed or sneezed. FML
Today, I have a job interview after months of struggling to find work. I also woke up with explosive diarrhea and can’t be away from the toilet for more than 10 minutes. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally able to settle on having a day out together after putting it off for months because of work/other random reasons. This morning I woke up with the worst case of diarrhea I’ve ever had in my life. I won’t be leaving the bathroom anytime soon. FML
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Top comments
dani22097 0
lemme guess... you drank their water
VivaLaCobra22 0
no more burritos for you!
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Comments (98)
TheDrifter 24
So are you going to plan a couple stops or try the pepto bismol and race it home strategy?
GabbanaGirl 0
shit that sucks. get it? shit??? haha
unidentified_sta 5
Yes... The high volume of shitty puns makes spotting them a chore as easy as typing them.
DocBastard 40
These are the times when I wish I were a moderator so I could delete the filth above this comment and ban Gabbanagirl. Instead, I'll just wait for some polite mod to erase it, and I'll have to be satisfied telling Gabbanagirl to shut the **** up. Oh, and when you have to explain your joke and then laugh at it yourself, chances are it isn't funny. Idiot.
aardvarkish 17
huuuuuh... you said "spotting"! huh huh...
KingDingALing 9
Did that cracker really call him an African-American citizen? The world is coming to an end.
Sirin_fml 47
Yeah, that was a really shitty choice of words, wasn't it? Etc. etc. etc.
unidentified_sta 5
Indeed, comments end up being so shitty sometimes. Trying to moderate them must feel like a shit job sometimes.
DocBastard 40
Sirin, I'm a little disappointed it took you so long to mod that comment. I hope you shoved the banhammer far enough up her ass that she could chew on it.
zp5 4
I'm dying to know what she said. You know, so I can say what I think of her and her comment.
unidentified_sta 5
Called me a bunch of random unintelligible stuff.
zp5 4
**** you, GabbanaGirl.
Sparx1_1 16
By the time you're ready to go home you'll be emptied out and done for the day so don't worry too much about it. What you do need to worry about is seeing a doctor to make sure that you didn't pick up something really nasty.
DaveOnDope 4
Ummmm. buttplug? near any **** shops?
therealshotyme 0
did Dave mathews teach u nothing? dont drink the water, and dont be a douche
RedPillSucks 33
That's why when you're sick you stay home so you don't infect your co-workers or become so unproductive at work that you're actually slowing everyone else down.
I_like_chicken 0
Is your name referring to 'the Matrix'
perdix 31
I'm pretty good at math, so I predict that you are going to shit yourself at least twice on your commute home. Is your car going to permanently smell of shit? Depends. That's right. Find some adult diapers, pronto, amigo!
sylphy 0
i laughed a lot ******* harder at that than I should have.
sandiiiiiii 0
Drink some pepto bismol! Lol
truthbetoldxoxo 0
yay pepto bismol!!
PincheLeti 0
Theres a reason why they say dont drink the water there. An now you know :D
InBetweenDreams 0
Mexico. It's a really nice place, but they tell you not to drink the water for a reason. And that reason is Ecoli. Hopefully you're a little bit better by the time you go home. :)