By fuzz94 - 14/11/2012 09:06 - Australia - Brisbane

Spicy
Today, I received my first ever hand-job. It would have been great if she didn't wipe it across my face when I had finished and storm out of the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks 33 739
You deserved it 6 576

fuzz94 tells us more.

Nah, she was just shocked when my volcano erupted, and in a spout of horror and confusion she decided that my face would be an appropriate place to wipe her hand. At least she kept it off my clothes huh!

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Looks like she wasn't semen to like it very much.

That was a dick move on her part.

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That was a dick move on her part.

She clearly wasn't using her head... Bit of a sticky situation. That sucks, OP.

Was that her first time giving a hand job? I agree with 1. What a dick move

He basically lion-kinged himself.

Maybe OPs girlfriend never wanted to give him a handjob? He could've continually bugged her about it and she wanted to get him back? I don't know, just a thought.

Clearly OP didn't know that nice guys finish last.

That was cummy..

84 that's not punny you killed it

My opinion it was more or less pretty good. Cummy taking place of crummy was well thought, just strong critics I guess.

it's not that, it's just that you took it to far (as did op's girl friend)

Nah, she was just shocked when my volcano erupted, and in a spout of horror and confusion she decided that my face would be an appropriate place to wipe her hand. At least she kept it off my clothes huh!

Lol OP! Next time... WARN HER!

haha nice op

I hate not being warned...

Well OP, that was a hidden message from her for you in the future to make sure never to finish your "volcano" on her face now that you know how it feels to have "lava" on yours.

Is it the girl in your profile pic op?

"I don't know, where I'm a-gonna go, when the volcano blows!" Out of the room, apparently.

I'm sorry for being off topic but 59 i LOVE your profile picture... Haley Joel Osment is my most favorite actor ever!!! :D Ok... You may proceed with the penis jokes.

137 - Love the Jimmy Buffett reference. I'm guessing this isn't the 'special sauce' OP was expecting on his Cheeseburger in Paradise...

Op your profile should say "its not funny until someone gets cum wiped all over their face"

OP, your profile pic pretty much sums this FML up!

Simba, a king has been born

Was it a break-up handjob?

No, it wasn't. My interpretation of it is that OP's girlfriend doesn't realize the point of a handjob is to orgasm.

But he did... And she wiped it all over his face..

It doesn't say they are together...probably a girl that wanted to hook up but got mad when it didn't go her way.

I meant that she didn't know he was going to, and when he did, she got mad.

Doesn't matter. Got your rocks off.

Looks like she wasn't semen to like it very much.

Aw come on, that was way better than 1's pun, why does he get all the thumbs ups?!

First, it wouldve been funnier if you said "Aw cum on..." And second this has more thumbs up...

When I commented his was thumbed down and number one was thumbed up.. Now I look like an idiot, my bad.

Never jump the gun on whether a comment will ultimately be thumbed up or down. I had a comment once where the first 6 votes were thumb down, ultimately it ended up over 200 thumbs up

She'll cum round to the idea of doing it eventually ; the real test-es when it cums to her going down there... Hopefully she doesn't throw you a curve-ball!

I see what you did there. Sorry op, guess we all have hard days. She'll cum around, hopefully. Otherwise, sounds like you're faced with a very sticky mess.

That's a weird reaction. Maybe you were supposed to tell her? Strange.

That's because you didn't return the favor

sounds like he didn't even get a chance? if she just immediately left.

Maybe the hand job was intended as foreplay and she got upset that he finished before she could get any?

Looks like it was new for both of you

Wow, the situation really came to a head!

That is so gross. If I was you I would've grabbed her and rubbed my face all over her.

Oh the irony...

Nice shot. :)

More like grabbed her head so she can get the next one on her face too, why would she do that?

I'm surprise there isn't a name for that move yet. What is the OP's name? Add "dirty" in front if that...

28- you're twice her age, E-Pedo

"Dirtyfuzz". Lmao.

31- there's a difference between being rude and assault.

Well then he was assaulted and what he did would have been self defense.

Holy crap, you people scare me. #31 implied there would be a "next time", and forcibly grabbing her head and coming on her is NOT self defense. Self defense is if someone punches you in the face, you hit back in order to STOP being hit in the face. Hence "self DEFENSE." Pretty sure holding down someone's head in order to come on their face while they try and get away classifies as "assault".

I wouldn't cum in her face I just wouldn't give her my dick anymore

How is what she did any different than if she were giving him a BJ and he came on her face?

it's different because you grabbed her head and forced it down idk its just my morals (altho it would be a diff story if she was giving me head)

actually i'm 16...

92 - I'm saying that if she's disrespectful enough to do that, then he should've been just as disrespectful, the FML says she stormed out, so she did it in an aggressive way because she was mad, I don't know about you guys but my girlfriend never did that to me and I don't know anyone who would not be bothered by that, I was implying he should let her know what it feels like to have cum forced on her face, anyone that's that disrespectful needs to be taught a lesson, and before 92 starts with her arguments on "that's sexual assault" wake up she f------ smeared cum on his face

fml team could you please remove my comments as they were talking about comments that have been removed

Looks like a sticky situation.

NO! NO! BAD COMMENT. NNNNOOOO!

How dare you involuntarily ejaculate on her! Don't you have any self control? Oh, wait...

You should've motor boated her after she did that

best. comment. today.