Today, I received a phone call from the number of a "single" guy I met online. It was his wife, who is three months pregnant. She threatened to kick my ass. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was talking to a nice guy on a dating app and we exchanged numbers. Later, I got a call. It was his wife asking me to stop talking to her husband. FML
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Today, I’ve been getting increasingly more threatening calls and texts all day from the wife of the guy I was seeing. I had no idea she existed, and even sent her screenshots of the texts he'd sent me saying he was single. It didn’t deter this psychopath one bit. Now I’m scared to leave my house. FML
Today, the cops showed up to my house and served me a child support order from the girl I had a one-night stand with, and who'd promised me she would abort the baby. All this was two years ago. My wife of three years was in the house and heard everything. She packed up her things and told me she’ll be calling her attorney. FML
Today, I got a call from a man yelling and cursing at me, calling me a "selfish no-life asshole" for getting his "baby girl" pregnant. I'm 29 and she is 27 and we have been married for 3 years. FML
Today, there was a knock at my door, and I was greeted by a punch to the face. The man was the extremely angry "fiancé" of the girl I've been married to for just over a year. FML
Today, after my boyfriend ghosted me when he learned I was pregnant, I stormed to his house to tell his wife about us to get back at him. Turns out he gave me a fake address, because the cops were called on me after I screamed at some random woman who lived there. FML
Today, a guy I went out with twice, and slept with once, came knocking on my door, hysterically crying. Apparently his wife found out about “us” and kicked him out. He’s now asking where he can put his stuff, since he’s now homeless. I had no idea he was married, and she’s now looking to fight me. FML
Today, I thought my online boyfriend was calling me, so the first line I said was "Hey, Baby." His wife answered with, "This is Jenny. Who's this?" After speaking for thirty minutes, I found out he's married, fifty-eight, and has two kids. I'm seventeen. FML
Today, I got a call from the guy I'd been seeing for a few weeks. It was his wife calling to find out what was going on with us. He told me he was separated. He left his kids home alone to hook up with me. FML
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Top comments
the88thpianoman 3
That should have been a brief and polite conversation in which you informed said pregnant wife of her husband's online infidelities. Of course, the wife's anger towards you is completely misplaced, as it is her husband she ought to be mad at.
vapors 0
Why are these people such idiots? Be mad at your goddamn partner for being a cheating bastard instead.
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Comments (76)
muffinsareyummy 1
can you really blame the wife, though? she just found out her unborn baby daddy is cheating on her. i'm sure it's a normal reaction to bitch the other woman out first, even though it does make more sense to be pissed at the husband.
Ranoona 0
she should kick her husbands ass not her :p
24788 7
90% of men cheat.
DrunkenValor 0
112% of people make up statistics
Person1233 13
1 in 387 people online are child pedophiles.
vapors 0
22 percent of men and 14 percent of women admitted to having sexual relations outside their marriage sometime in their past.
TheLetterZero 7
100% of me thinks that is enough statistics.
brianjman14 23
100% of me thinks no one cares, lol :P jk
catatonicsleep 17
Its not your fault he lied. I hope she kicks his ass.
Serial_Killer 0
Next time go outside like a normal person and meet someone.
chakrabs 0
Punch her in the stomach if she tries, its not your fault.
AntiChrist7 0
online dating is an instant YDI. Dating assholes also
Mr_Eated 0
Not your fault. We now see why he's stepping out - not that it's justified, but the reasons probably get clearer with each filthy word out of her mouth. She's in a bad marriage with a cheater and should be mad at him. #19 hit it on the nose. She gets mad at you in a territorial attempt to "keep" her husband. Instead, maybe she should buy you a drink for showing her what she's really married to. Unless you were out trolling for married men, you did nothing wrong. Being married to a psycho bitch sucks and makes you want to step out - I never gave in when I was married to the bitch from hell, but I get the reason guys do. That said, it's no excuse and still wrong of him...his fault, not yours.
ultraslick 0
what woman gives there number to a guy they "met" online. Isn't it easier to walk into a bar and yell "hey who wants to rape me?"
Intoxicunt 6
Lol. Yeah, but it's less mysterious.
Mr_Eated 0
Well, maybe they met first online, then for drinks. Once they got comfortable with each other, she felt ok to cough up digits. Seen lots of hookups and a few relationships start like that.
plexico 4
Falcon Punch! I didn't think anyone lied on the Internet, you know, with Google and Wikipedia and all getting us instant, complete knowledge. You need to move on. Why don't you meet me on my 70-foot yacht because I am a multi-millionaire who loves you? I have a 22-inch schlong that comes vanilla frosting . . . that is calorie-free! QFT!
Hexefrau 5
You know, if it were calorie free cream cheese frosting, I'd be in. Vanilla frosting is so...vanilla. You can keep that yacht, I just want a frosting schlong.
plexico 4
OK, you drive a hard bargain. I'll switch to a steady diet of cream cheese and inject some directly into my testicles to make sure. In two weeks, the changeover will have occurred and I'll come pick you up in my blimp. Ooops! Stock market's up. I'm not a multi-millionaire anymore -- I'm a billionaire! Yay!