Miscellaneous: Today, I received a compliment for the first time from a girl....

By IHateMyLife - 22/09/2012 06:59 - United States - Fallbrook

Today, I received a compliment for the first time from a girl. She told me she admires my courage to go out in public since most ugly people don't like to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 772

You deserved it 2 002

Miscellaneous

But there's panic on the streets of Carlisle

Dementia or hate? You decide

My booze

By Deadendjob - 22/05/2017 02:00

Today, my dad refused to sign a student finance form to allow me to study my dream subject at university because he doesn't want the government knowing his business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 607

You deserved it 392

By Anonymous - 11/11/2012 10:26 - United States - Williamsburg

Today, after finally falling asleep, my boyfriend woke me up and got extremely mad at me. My offense? My pillow was touching his side of the bed. After yelling at me, he's now sleeping on the couch, and I'm lying in bed wide awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 454

You deserved it 3 108

By Anonymous - 25/03/2016 03:14 - New Zealand - Takanini

Today, I went to the doctor's after over a week of feeling extremely tired and having headaches. His advice? "When I'm tired I drink coffee. You should drink coffee." Somehow, I don't think that was worth $60. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 613

You deserved it 1 569

By Anonymous - 15/03/2015 04:23 - United States - Statesboro

Today, I went to the grocery store with my four-year-old. She has some issues with wetting the bed, so I told her that if she wasn't sure if she was dreaming about "going", she should pinch herself to make sure she's awake. In the produce section, she pinched herself, smiled proudly, and peed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 352

You deserved it 5 466

Professional.

By Anonymous - 23/06/2018 19:00

Today, my boss threatened to fire me for racism after I refused to hire a black woman. I didn't hire her because she came to the interview wearing what was basically a bikini and she was covered in tattoos depicting lewd sex acts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 367

You deserved it 285

By Anonymous - 14/07/2014 23:52 - United States - Tacoma

Today, I went into my former workplace. While there, an ex-coworker told me that after I quit, they split my position into two separate jobs. When I worked there, my boss had told me to suck it up whenever I said there was too much work for just one person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 758

You deserved it 3 837

Nice guy

By Anonymous - 18/09/2009 10:40 - Australia

Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask a cute guy for his number. Once he had given me his, he asked for mine. My initial happiness was deflated when he said, "OK, now I can just block every message from you," and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 564

You deserved it 4 512

By Disgruntled - 16/03/2016 12:01 - United States - East Lansing

Today, my 2-year-old daughter started showing signs of understanding the potty training concept. She announced to my mother-in-law that she needed to go potty, only to be flatly told, "No, you don't." So she crapped herself. Now it's going to take forever to train her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 027

You deserved it 1 271

By UniStudi - 23/12/2018 14:00

Today I sent a message out to a support group to get and give support following a sexual assault, the person who responded and was giving advice was the person who assaulted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 669

You deserved it 170

By I Know How to Pick'em - 16/11/2015 12:25 - Canada - Beaverton

Today, as I had a chat with my boyfriend and a couple of his friends, one of them had brought up my boyfriend's son and his other child who was due any day now. The conversation would have went well, had I known that he had a son and a pregnant girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 227

You deserved it 2 567

By littleone37 - 03/04/2009 18:40 - United States

Today, my mom and sister both told me that they don't like when I come visit with my boyfriend. They love my boyfriend and think he's great, it's me they have a problem with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 930

You deserved it 4 830

By StupidCar - 07/02/2009 20:56 - United States

Today, I spent 600 dollars to have my brakes fixed on my car, they weren't squeaking. I got my car back and now the brakes squeal and my air conditioning won't work. I just spent 600 dollars to break my car even more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 973

You deserved it 4 845

By morgie96 - 19/08/2014 04:11 - United States - Pompano Beach

Today, on Facebook, all these parents posted photos of their child's last first day of high school, saying they were so proud as they left for senior year. It was my first day of senior year today, but my parents just gave me a high-five for not doing drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 992

You deserved it 8 920

Pray for me

By Anonymous - 20/11/2021 14:00

Today, my wife is visiting her nana, which I hate because she comes home full of Catholic guilt, meaning I'll have to spend the next few months wasting my Sunday mornings in church, until her guilt wears off and her normal Sunday morning laziness resumes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 835

You deserved it 231

By rattrap - 06/02/2012 01:13 - United States

Today, I checked over the pictures on my night-cam to see if my cats are really going on our kitchen counters. As soon as I'd seen the first picture, I realized that this whole time my cats haven't been going on it. It was a rat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 987

You deserved it 2 570

Just love!

By Anonymous - 23/01/2020 18:00

Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved his flaming red hair. He told me that he loved the fuzz on my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 981

You deserved it 503

By crazycat - 13/05/2011 16:23 - Canada

Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 549

You deserved it 5 810

By Anonymous - 05/09/2011 12:05 - Reserved

Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 632

You deserved it 4 765

By OrlandoZ6 - 25/05/2009 16:48 - United States

Today, I was laying down on my couch. My friend IM's me on my laptop to watch a video. It turned out that the video was one of those scary pop up's. I got so scared I dropped my laptop. The screen had a big crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 465

You deserved it 10 636

By erianne - 07/05/2018 15:00

Today, the neighbors heard a blood curdling scream and called the cops, thinking I was being murdered. Nope. I just stubbed my toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 818

You deserved it 555

By sucks - 12/03/2009 17:53 - United States

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 294 766

You deserved it 53 919

Happy…

By Anonymous - 01/12/2010 23:02 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. My parents got me a box of cupcakes. My brother got me a deck of cards. My aunt got me a brochure on how to quit smoking. I have diabetes, I don't play cards, and I don't smoke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 307

You deserved it 3 534

By Christmasloverandstuff - 25/12/2012 17:45 - United States

Today, my extended family came over for Christmas. I forgot to get a present for my extremely sensitive aunt. I took a gift from my re-gift pile and wrapped it quickly. Little did I remember that it was the same gift she gave me last year. She noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 872

You deserved it 42 390

I'm not lovin' it

By Anonymous - 12/01/2021 14:02

Today, at my new job at McDonald’s, they only had uniform pants in a size 36 or 56, nothing in between. I’m a size 40 so I squeezed into the 36. When I told my supervisor I couldn’t tuck my shirt into the pants like they asked, because I couldn’t close the top button, she told me to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 151

You deserved it 163

By Anonymous - 10/02/2017 13:00 - United States - Houston

Today, my wedding ring came off in a Walmart bathroom and fell into the toilet. It was an automatic toilet. It flushed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 790

You deserved it 819

By awkward O_o - 24/04/2013 21:15 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 654

You deserved it 4 902

By rholt - 14/01/2014 06:48 - United States - Baldwin City

Today, as I was taking out the trash, I spotted my cute neighbor doing the same. In a rush to get out before he went back inside, I slipped on my iced-over porch. I passed out and woke up with a note on my chest saying, "I unlocked your door but you were too heavy to drag inside". FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 389

You deserved it 8 059

By sincerely depressed. - 09/08/2012 21:42 - United States - Fremont

Today, at work, I decided to make things more interesting, so when I called people I used a fake accent. As I was using an Australian accent, the person I was talking to asked me where in Australia I was from. I desperately replied, "Where the kangaroos are..." I'm now jobless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 815

You deserved it 40 341

By anon17 - 18/03/2010 13:49 - United States

Today, I discovered that my fiancé had responded to an online missed connection posting. He has been emailing, exchanging pictures and making plans to go out with this girl. We are supposed to be married in the fall and just put down the non-refundable deposit on our reception site. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 546

You deserved it 3 251

By Lax - 12/01/2009 09:37 - France

Today, my 5 year-old daughter watched me getting dressed in the bathroom and asked, "Mum, when my boobs grow, will they droop like yours?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 855

You deserved it 3 464

RIP in peace

By Janice - 03/01/2019 12:00

Today, while working as a bank teller, a woman came in with a $100k check. I commented, "Wow, I really could do with one of these!" She responded, "It's a life insurance check. I'd rather have my son back," and teared up in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 944

You deserved it 3 809

By Bobby - 10/08/2012 11:42 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, while housesitting my neighbor's dogs the phone rang. I answered it and a voice said, "Stop checking your Facebook and take care of my dogs. They look like they need to go out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 279

You deserved it 32 970

Senpai Noticed

By HelenErutherford - 09/07/2018 01:30

Today, my period started. It wouldn't be a big deal if it hadn't happened while I was in my karate class practicing kicks, and if the guy I have a crush on hadn't informed me of it after chuckling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 149

You deserved it 297

By SODbeatlesMCRlp - 19/11/2010 16:54 - United States

Today, I came home and found a can of body spray. My parents get me a new scent whenever they go shopping, which is usually at least twice a week. They left a note: "Do you get it yet?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 732

You deserved it 34 978

By ReallyNow - 01/09/2011 17:17 - United States

Today, I got rear-ended while on my way to work. This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't pregnant, suffering from a horrible UTI, and running a fever. My boss called in sick, so now I'm stuck running the office alone. With whiplash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 001

You deserved it 3 005

That's capitalism, baby!

By Anonymous - 13/09/2021 04:59

Today, I went to see three houses to buy. For the past year I've been trying, but investors swoop in and buy the house cash to turn around and rent it. I just want my first actual home for my family, but one of the houses I was going to put an offer on already has a cash offer on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 036

You deserved it 66

By isucksomuch - 31/07/2011 06:18 - Canada

Today, I found out my mother cleans the dishes with bathroom cleaning chemicals. She doesn't see anything wrong with this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 979

You deserved it 2 660

By miseventshappen - 09/11/2009 05:49 - United States

Today, I was at the mall, I saw a girl crying that her ice cream had fallen on the floor. Feeling generous, I bought her a new one. She threw it on the ground, laughed, and came over to her mom and told that I was bothering her, so the mom called security. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 574

You deserved it 4 990

By DOGSNACHER - 29/12/2009 03:43 - United States

Today, I woke up to my whole room ruined, it was a mess and everything was torn and chewed up. I suddenly see a dog walk across the hall. I don't have a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 303

You deserved it 2 529

By UnemployedGrad - 25/09/2009 16:11 - United States

Today, I was offered a position as a school crossing guard. I have a $200,000 degree in Economics from a top 20 University and was offered a position to hold a stop sign and wear a reflective vest. I was tempted to accept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 072

You deserved it 7 034

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Top comments

rawrimacow 7

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Saturday 22 September 2012 16:06

What an asshole.

Sinandraide 4

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Saturday 22 September 2012 16:08

tell her " thank you, likewise"

rawrimacow 7

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Saturday 22 September 2012 16:06

What an asshole.

Zoh_Aubrey 8

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Saturday 22 September 2012 16:18

Tell her that you saw her walking out and that it gives you hope to know that if ogres are roaming--it was alright for you too.

thawny_fml 21

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Saturday 22 September 2012 16:23

Should've said that she was your inspiration.

Queen_Cosmos 7

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Saturday 22 September 2012 16:47

Aww OP, don't feel bad. There's some people that would call the handsomest guy on Earth ugly. You probably look fine and she's just an inconsiderate bitch.

xoconnie 8

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Saturday 22 September 2012 18:08

agree. you should yell or curse at her and or shoot her with a nerf gun.

Futacy 29

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Saturday 22 September 2012 18:25

That dumb bitch only insulted you because she's angry that she'll never get a stud like you.

Futacy 29

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Saturday 22 September 2012 18:27

54- and then scream and cry and feel sorry for himself.

unluckygirl86 4

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Saturday 22 September 2012 18:27

I couldn't agree more Queen. :)

Jumpingmal2 7

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Sunday 23 September 2012 4:55

At least she complimented you...

Jumpingmal2 7

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Sunday 23 September 2012 5:00

Always look on the bright side of life.

lexi365 20

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Sunday 23 September 2012 6:05

Got to love backhanded compliments...

walkdestroyer 2

Saturday 22 September 2012 16:07

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

greenie213 23

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Saturday 22 September 2012 16:45

Or maybe he's so amazingly handsome that the human mind cannot comprehend it and has to project an illusion of ugliness onto his body to preserve its own sanity. At least that's what happened to me.

nado13579 12

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Saturday 22 September 2012 16:49

Or the girl's just a bitch.

benmec 18

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Saturday 22 September 2012 17:58

We talkin' ugly ugly or just tv ugly???

MrBrightside21 20

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Saturday 22 September 2012 18:54

26 - I hate when that happens. :( It's a rough life being a sexy beast, it really is.

Kristabug91 1

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Sunday 23 September 2012 4:17

So must you 2 in order to say that. Rude!

khaayotic 16

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Saturday 22 September 2012 16:08

That's more of an insult than a compliment...

sillyyanks 24

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Saturday 22 September 2012 16:33

10/10 for observation

Driveshaft 5

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Saturday 22 September 2012 16:42

It's a neg! Means she wants a one night stand op! Get her number.

tabbycat2007 22

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Sunday 23 September 2012 16:00

Thank you captain obvious. We never would have known that without your astute observations.

pabst4america 1

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Monday 24 September 2012 7:49

Lol FML=foiled

PinkieKeen 20

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Monday 24 September 2012 9:39

No, really?

Sinandraide 4

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Saturday 22 September 2012 16:08

tell her " thank you, likewise"

onlychildFTW 33

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Saturday 22 September 2012 20:26

That would have been the best idea. She'll get complimented to! She'll see how it isn't a compliment and realize she's an idiot.

DocBastard 38

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Saturday 22 September 2012 16:09

Backhanded compliments like that deserve backhanded slaps to the face.

gc327072 30

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Saturday 22 September 2012 16:45

B-B-B-Bitch slap!

loserboii 11

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Saturday 22 September 2012 18:13

Where's A Pimp Named Slickback?

outoftown 26

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Saturday 22 September 2012 18:33

#5, I prefer backhanded retorts. The satisfaction lasts longer, and I don't get punched.

racerapj 10

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Saturday 22 September 2012 18:57

"You tell her what you want her to do. If she say no, hit the bitch! Simple." -A Pimp Named Slickback

siickman 7

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Saturday 22 September 2012 16:10

I really want to hurt people like her... >:/

Mister_Triangle 21

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Sunday 23 September 2012 13:23

Violence is never the answer. Unless the question is "what's not the answer?". But then violence IS the answer, thus making it not the answer, getting you stuck in an infinite loop.