Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally caught the person who has now and again been stealing my lunch at work for weeks. It was my boss. I awkwardly watched him eat my sandwich while he talked about how he's been "saving money by bringing food from home." FML
Today, I was running late for work and skipped breakfast. At a red light, I noticed a granola bar in my bag and so I took a bite, only to realize it was actually a dog treat I'd stuffed in there days ago. FML
Today, I overheard my coworkers talking about how someone has been stealing lunches from the office fridge. Feeling guilty, I admitted that I took a sandwich yesterday, thinking it was free. Turns out, they were joking to see who’d confess. FML
Today, for what has seemed to be the hundredth time, my labeled bagged lunch was stolen from the fridge at my workplace. I stormed into my boss's office ready to complain, only to find him eating it. FML
Today, after weeks of stealing lunch from one of my employees, he made a sandwich with canned cat food, soap, and something unimaginably spicy that caused me to spew all over my office and laptop. I fired him. Now everyone is treating me like a monster. FML
Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML
Today, I went and bought lunch for all the people I work with. The only meal the place forgot was mine. FML
Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML
Today, I made myself a snack. I took a seemingly clean plate from the sink which had been used earlier for scrambled eggs. Only after I'd made the snack did I remember I let my dog lick the plate clean. FML
Today, a coworker threw my lunch in the trash. They'd just got back from holidays, and I use the same containers they do. My leftovers "looked like something they'd eat", so they thought it was something they'd forgotten before going on holidays. It was leftovers that I'd been spacing out, trying to make last till payday. FML
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Top comments
jereka05 0
YDI - Make your own freaking sandwiches
gigi37 0
Well, that's what you get for stealing someone else's food. What, were you too lazy to make your own? It's not that expensive to get a dollar hamburger Are you really expecting sympathy on here?
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Comments (406)
NickCassell 2
WHY THE **** ARE YOU STEALING OTHER PEOPLE'S SANDWICHES, YOU ASSHOLE!!! Lol...
chosenen 6
owned
mchacon 0
hope you burn in hell you piece of shit
ArielTheMermaid 17
ydi. make your own lunch you lazy idiot
disturbedwithin 0
ytd if I found out who was stealing my food I'd punch them in the face your a jerk
TheRussian7 0
you deserve it you jackass if u had stolen from me I'd break both ur damn arms
jbizzle1987 8
ydi can't blame him
Ugi 27
You have a job. Whatever job that is It should pay for lunch. if it doesn't pay for your lunch you need to find a new job. Be happy it was dog food (which is actually made to a standard to be safe for human consumption) and not laxatives, or hash or LSD or semen or any of the far more unpleasant options that must have occurred to your co-worker. YDI with knobs on and got off damned lightly.
theznuts 2
I hate people like you ..... Faget
AnynomousPerson 0
i would have put pubs in it and dog food then lace your drink with acid and get you fired. You dont take a mans sandwich