Today, I reached a new low in my relationship: my boyfriend got so drunk I had to help him take a piss. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my boyfriend turned 21 and got drunk at a bar. Being sober, I went through the whole ordeal: calling a cab, carrying him up three flights of stairs, helping him by the toilet, and taking him to bed. Just when I'm about to sleep, he gets up, pushes his shorts down, and pees on me. Twice. FML
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Today, I had to get my boyfriend's mom to help me get my boyfriend in his house because he was so drunk. He broke up with me for getting him in trouble. FML
The Phone Call
Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML
The call of the wild
Today, I went camping with my boyfriend. We were sleeping on a small slope. He got so drunk he peed in his sleep. I was downhill. FML
Today, my boyfriend got so drunk that he was sick in the taxi, sick on me, then sick on himself when he was sitting on the toilet. What's more, I can't get into bed because he's been sick all over my half of the bed. So I'm sleeping on the sofa tonight. FML
Manly men fighting
Today, my boyfriend got drunk and had a fistfight with a dumb teenager, which was bad enough, but he also lost the fight, which was just pathetic and embarrassing. FML
Kinky.
Today, I drank from a soda can that was on my floor. Unfortunately, it was my boyfriend’s pee. He was too lazy to go to the bathroom. FML
Thanks, I guess…
Today, my boyfriend came home drunk from town, busted the toilet door open crying, and proposed to me with a ring and all. I was literally mid-shit. FML
I need one
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of my drunken antics. My reaction? Pour myself a stiff drink. FML
Top comments
Happybooger 4
If you shake it more than 3 times you are just playing with it
ninjuh_wingman 29
Well at least you can hope that it goes up from here.
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Comments (147)
Swedeypie 0
so he was pissed, you helped him piss and you got pissed off?
LookOnBrightSide 12
14-Sounds like the hydrology cycle.
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
You must have been pretty pissed off.
asherm 15
Yeah I had to stop my ex from pissing in cabinet under kitchen sink once. Funny, no matter how drunk I get, I always know where not to piss. Guys can't figure it out apparently lol
cc_the_beast 6
Because the world is their bathroom
awalker2782 5
Oh we know where to piss but for the most part we just don't care
mamacakes25 6
make sure he holds your hair while you puke. then you got a keeper.... ha
Michael_92 20
Yes that's the key to success in relationships kids. When your flat out wasted you help each other. On a side note is that really a healthy relationship to begin with??
GoW_Chick 15
Aww what a sweet and romantic moment... I bet he was praying to the porcelain gods the rest of the night.
iseyixes 18
Well if you hadn't helped him, it would've been you wiping piss off the walls, floor, and who knows where else.
laden_swallow09 35
…Or wait until he sobers up and make him clean up his own mess. Like rubbing a puppy's nose into his mess, it may be preventively effective.
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
OMG this FML has caused everyone to go insane! Including me :) :( -______- $__$ 0______O O_o ...... help me...
AugustBurnsToast 14
I would've thought you guys grew closer. That's something not a lot of couples get to experience. :p
crazy_whitechick 6
Hmm are you sure he was drunk?...
granolabutt8 7
Reminds me of the night my man drank too much tequila on our friend's boat... I had to drive him home, sit with him out on the lawn for thirty minutes because he refused to come inside, hold his dick while he peed, get him into bed, feed him, hold a bowl for him while he puked his guts out, and stay up all night watching him because he couldn't get it into his head that he absolutely should not be sleeping on his back. Every time he started getting sick I had to grab him by the hair and pull until he rolled over so he would puke in the bowl. Ahh, relationships... don't worry OP, he'll owe you one soon enough.
Tyger44 1
Thats is a real girl friend.
HannahWho 8
I want your boyfriend to get to AA.
granolabutt8 7
AA is for alcoholics. Someone who gets too drunk once is not an alcoholic.
oldirtybasterdSE 0
You seem to put up with a lot of shit. Or I guess piss and puke for this scenario