Today, I punched the air enthusiastically after getting an impossible question right. Unfortunately, above me was an old fashioned mole trap, with 6 small spikes and 2 large ones. I now have 6 puncture wounds in my hand, and two in my shoulder, as it fell off the hook it was hanging on. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I angrily waved away an annoying fly with a large knife. I stabbed myself in the shoulder. FML
Today, I thought I had a stick stuck in my hair. A very pokey stick. That aggressively bit my face when I tried to get it out of my hair. It was a big ass spider. My face feels like it's been punched. FML
Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML
Today, I failed a basic intelligence test when the mouse trap I was setting up snapped on my thumb. Later, when I checked the trap I saw that the mouse had managed to lick all the bait off the trap without being caught, I have a sore thumb and was outsmarted by a rodent. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML
Today, I was doing a fitness test. Though clumsy, I managed to spin around a bat then dash across a balance beam, run through some tires, and walk across a log floating in water. Pleased with my performance, I walked to the bathroom, tripped on my shoelace, and bust my head on the floor. FML
Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML
Today, I managed to fell a tree perfectly. It landed exactly where it should. Today is also the day I managed to Whack-a-Mole in real life. FML
Today, at my local fishing tackle shop, some dumb kids got into a fight and knocked me over into a glass display case of antique fishing hooks. I’m now in hospital, not only from cuts from broken glass, but to have 27 barbed hooks removed from my hands, arms, and face. FML
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Top comments
sarawr 0
Am I the only one who is curious as to where the OP was that there was an old fashioned mole trap above him, and that he was answering a bunch of impossible questions? If anybody could offer any clarification I'd appreciate it. x3 ...otherwise it sounds like a weird gameshow.
null_fml 11
That whole situation is alien to me. I can't even figure out where you were that you "got a question right" underneath a mole trap. I've never even seen or heard of a mole trap before. Kudos to you for blowing my mind.
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Comments (131)
17years 0
where the **** were you?? do you usually sit under old fashioned traps?
Hydra_fml 0
What?? Context, OP! We need context!
lol_urlife_sucks 0
300 letter limit.
good_life35 0
wtf do you have an old fashioned mole trap with 6 small spikes and 2 large ones?
triplethreat13 0
i did something like that once. i kinda did that punch-the-air thing in my algebra class and a girl was behind me with her books in hand and i accidentally booked her and got sent to the principal. i have a bruise on my knuckle from punching 20 pounds of books.
raquelspeaking 0
I think Osama Bin Laden did that when he was in hiding underground....
UsernamesSuck 0
lolwut is the only appropriate response.
lol_urlife_sucks 0
agreed!
jenius81 0
ydi for being a mole.
kirkcantjerk 0
SAW 7 maybe?
Tnofic 0
do you go to school in a hunter's lodge? are you home schooled in some survivalist compound? so confused...
superkitten_fml 0
Where the hell are you? On the set of Saw 11?