Today, I overheard my dad say "Last time I didn't use a condom, I ended up with Steven, so for god's sake use 'em." I'm Steven. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML
Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML
Today, my parents told me that they had planned two kids (my older siblings) and I was born because my father "thought" that he was wearing a condom. FML
Today, I was working in bed when my boyfriend stumbled in, drunk as hell. He got on top of me saying he wanted sex. After a moment, he paused and said, “Sorry, I thought you were Stephen.” I’m a girl. Stephen is my father. FML
Today, I told my dad I was going to Walgreens and asked if he needed anything. He needed condoms, and that I should call him when I get there so he can explain the kind he likes. FML
Today, my dad handed me my refilled birth control prescription. I thanked him, and he replied, "Well, God forbid you run out and reproduce." FML
Today, I mentioned to my dad (we have a close relationship) that my last condom had expired. Happy to buy me new ones for the sake of safe sex, he asked me "Do you need small, or extra small?" FML
Today, my dad told me he had been seeing someone for a while and has decided to marry her. When I met her, her son looked familiar. I lost my virginity to him. FML
Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in and there was a note that said, "Stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML
Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. An ex? A friend? A side guy? Nope, none of those. I called him “Dad”. FML
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Top comments
CurvyisCool 22
I'm sure it wasn't meant to be that... Offensive. I mean, kids cost money.
kendallfireHD 16
Well at least you slipped through.
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Comments (57)
Aero_x 21
Not every mistake is a regret! But if you can prevent it from happening again or at least go at it the right way, I believe in spreading the word :)
klenorris 15
Ha! ?
Askim_fml 6
Hi-larious!
Stevend3095 9
Hey I'm Steven too ^.^
worldclassrager 41
He still loves you...just not what you expected...
asifcherani 5
sorry steven
vikky538 29
not all accidents are bad in life.. you are not a bad accident.
edward80 18
You should be proud of yourself, at least you were the fastest sperm
CaroAurelia 12
Maybe he didn't mean that as an insult to you. Maybe he was just saying "Last time I didn't use a condom, I procreated accidentally. If you're not ready to procreate, use a condom." That's a little better.
ant146 10
Hey I would take that as a compliment