Today, I ordered a pizza. I paid and tipped the pizza guy, and instead of saying goodbye, I got tongue-tied and said, "I love you, boo." FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, when I was ordering pizza, I got a text from my mom saying "I love you". When the man thanked me I accidentally said, "I love you too." FML
Today, I opened the door to a pizza delivery guy. I hadn't order any, but I thought maybe my roommate had. As he handed me the box, I said, "Thanks, you too" when he told me to enjoy my meal. He stopped, looked confused, and said, "Wait, what?" before leaving. I then realized my roommate was out of town and I’d just taken someone else’s pizza. FML
Today, I was bitched out by a pizza delivery man. I didn't have the cash to pay him for a pizza I didn't even order. FML
Today, I tried to flirt with the cute cashier at my usual drive-thru. Instead of saying, "Thank you," I panicked and said, "I love you." Now I have to find a new favorite burger place. FML
Today, I'm getting over a nasty breakup, and decided to treat myself and order a pizza online. After waiting 45 minutes, I checked the site. Turns out, I'd forgotten to change the address on the site. I sent my ex a free pizza. FML
Today, I ordered a pizza for delivery after a long day. When the delivery guy showed up, I realized I had no cash, so I tried to pay him using my credit card. Unfortunately, I couldn’t remember the PIN, and after three failed attempts, the delivery guy just stared at me in awkward silence and said, "It’s okay, I’ll just take the pizza back." FML
Today, my husband rolled over in his sleep, cuddled up to me, and lovingly whispered “I love you Pizza Hut...” FML
Today, I ordered pizza for myself. When the delivery guy arrived, I opened the door in pajama pants, messy hair and a face mask. He smiled and said, “Oh, this order says ‘Family Combo Meal.’ Where’s everyone else?” I just said, “They’re busy.” They weren’t. FML
Today, I leaned in to kiss my boyfriend goodnight at the door. He smiled sweetly, cupped my cheek… and then used his other hand to pull the last slice of pizza out of my hand and slam the door shut. FML
Today, after a bad week I ordered a large pizza, ready to binge-watch TV. The delivery guy shows up, I hand him the cash, and he left without giving me my pizza. Exhausted, I watched him leave, like a confused puppy. I called the pizzeria; he'd left the pizza somewhere else, and couldn't re-deliver it because their driver was "done for the night.” FML
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Top comments
SmeXikoE 3
Hey, it's me. I just want to say. I love you too And I will be coming by more often with and without pizzas.
gress269 4
I do that every time.
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Comments (171)
liy223 6
That's a bit unfortunate...
Oh_Hayy_Its_Lex 10
not for the pizza guy
JsSWAN 1
goodbye ....I love you too, boo....ya I can see how you get those mixed up
MrSaxMan 0
Whatd he say back?;)
graham11 14
14- "oh baby, for the 10 seconds we've known each other, I've been wanting to say the same thing to you too!"
leh9 2
Yes!
perdix 31
At least you created some brilliant dialog for a great porno. I watch **** mostly for the scintillating dialog.
upyourzlolz 11
Yeah. Who cares about an Asian girl getting gangbanged by a white and black man?
flockz 20
nowadays, i watch **** for the groovy music. but back when i was a wee lad, **** didn't exist. the only way i got off was by squeezing my ass cheeks together and pretending they were boobs. there was nothing like it.
yohooooooo 5
alot of us^
perdix 31
#27, you've been what they call "Rick-rolled." This means that you have been subjected to terrible dialog dipped in a goulash of cheesy pseudo-disco. Persist in finding the real deal -- the words are pure poetry! Find an ugly person who seems reasonably happy. He or she will know where to find awesome ****. This is the source of the pleasure which the cold, real world denies him or her.
zack11742 7
Cyanide and Happiness amazing!
lolfood 24
Family guy reference much?
mrz1177 11
F Y L .
MelTheGreat 23
You have a serious problem if that came out naturally.
bittersweet25 3
Hahaha how do you get that tongue tied? Haha funny either way though
flockz 20
if he looks back say "i was talking to the pizza. you will never be this lucky."
DontClickOnMe 28
I wish I could thumb up this comment more than once haha, good one
Stormdriven37 6
You got tongue tied over saying goodbye?
bizarre_ftw 22
I got tongue tied over saying hello today, I greeted my cashier, who also happens to sit next to me during my 1st period, with "thank you"
Amrel 10
Im sure he didnt mind