Today, I noticed we had gotten new colored toothpicks at the restaurant I work at. That was the highlight of my day. Apparently my life has gotten so boring I get excited over colored toothpicks. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw my dad pick his teeth with a toothpick from a new box. He ate the food he got out of his teeth and put the toothpick back. FML
Today, at my job as a produce clerk at a grocery store, I had an entire conversation with my coworker about how nice the new cabbage boxes are. This is all it takes to thrill me these days. FML
Today, I picked out a toothpick from a pizza. This is not the first time I've had to do this. It is also not the first time that I didn't see it until less than a second before I bit down on the piece with the toothpick embedded in it. Looks like there's a toothpick assassin on the loose. FML
Today, I was working at a restaurant. This guy comes up to the counter and asks if he could have some toothpicks. I told him they were right in front of him. He said, "Sorry, I'm blind." Thinking it was a joke, I laughed until he said, "No, seriously." FML
Today, I spent hours trying to get a piece of food out of my two front teeth. I didn't have anything I could use, until I went out to dinner and got a toothpick. I finally got the food out of teeth. The toothpick broke. Now the tip of the toothpick is stuck in my teeth. FML
Today, I bought a pack of toothpicks. There were 500 of them. When I got home I accidentally dropped the pack. After twenty long minutes of picking them up, I dropped them again. FML
Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML
Today, I was at my job where we buy precious metals. A man came in and said, "Here, I have something special for you." He then pulled a tooth out of his mouth that had dental gold on it and placed in it my bare hand. Yeah, special indeed. FML
Today, I got off work and checked my makeup in the mirror once I got in my car. I had a huge piece of spinach on my front tooth that no one told me about. I work the front desk of an upscale hotel and have been greeting guests all day. FML
Today, I realised my teeth are so stained that they look cleaner when I've not brushed them. FML
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Top comments
Buttsexpirate 9
Dude you're gonna lose your shit when the new tablecloths come in.
sariannacanna 6
Those toothpicks are pretty cool.... Lol
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Comments (86)
Jovecove 13
Read that comment with stewie's voice!
sculd_for_life96 5
Enjoy the little things.
IndigoAcrylic 9
Just go on public transit snd say the phrase, loud & proud..."I WON A MATH DEBATE!" ;(even if you didn't win a debate involving math) ;D
cguerin 3
Colored toothpicks? What's not to be excited about?
GodsLittleMistak 8
60-How would a maths debate work? Person 1-"I state that 2+2=4" Person 2-"OBJECTION!"
sweetheartslim 0
Oh yeah fyl because you never made anything of your life
IndigoAcrylic 9
Lol...you have to say it outloud..kinda fast ^^ Then you will get it (;
GodsLittleMistak 8
Oh grand,sounds quite fun!^^ Love your hair btw
jwade11 12
58-- I did! It came so naturally! Lol..... I freakin love stewie!!
jwade11 12
You just have to make your life entertaining. It's all about your mind set. If you get bored, take your dog out for a walk or go running or rent a movie. Or clean. There's always something you can do. Be creative!