Today, I noticed that I'm way more productive when I'm drinking than when I'm not. I think I just figured out why I'm related to so many alcoholics. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my alcoholic friend, who is now sober, told me I was a lot more fun when he was drinking. FML
Today, I noticed I have more alcohol in my fridge than I do actual food. FML
Today, I found out I was an alcoholic. Not from my friends or family, but because the ice-maker couldn't keep up with the amount of drinks I've been making. FML
Today, I realized that I'm a better human being when drunk or high, because at least then I don't seem like a wind-up toy about to snap. FML
Today, I found out why I get so red all over at parties. Turns out I'm allergic to alcohol. FML
Today, my wife told me alcohol gives me "increased confidence without increased ability." FML
Today, I found out that my sister's kids refer to me as their 'Drunkle'. I guess I have to admit to myself that I'm an alcoholic. FML
Today, I realized that my alcoholism has gotten so bad that I rotate liquor stores so the clerks don't think bad about me. FML
Today, my ten year-old son realized something. Beer is alcohol. People who drink a lot of alcohol are alcoholics. Therefore, I'm an alcoholic for drinking beer with dinner. He told everyone at his conservative private school and they tried to have an intervention. They pray for me every day. FML
Today, someone told me they liked my personality when I'm drunk. I asked, "What about when I'm sober?". "No, only when you're drinking." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
cakefete2 31
You might just have the productivity equivalent of beer goggles. If you drink, set a limit. Don't use this as an "excuse" to descend into alcoholism.
Ayuki_fml 18
Looks like you found the secret to your productivity.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (45)
chutney_02 22
And now you know who not to be like
bombielol 20
seek help before its to late D:
isabellasimone 18
I'm sure there's another way to make yourself a productive person. You just have to figure it out!
GOtllt 17
It ain't stupid if it works
wvcheesehead 13
If you are not a trying to be a productive cab or truck driver... drink up and produce.
patrickalamo 48
I'll drink to that...
mosquito19 14
it's alcohol making you think that way just like drunk people think they can drive. you're not really productive at all.
clmartinez1024 7
you know he's not productive because you know him in real life, right? not just being a dick?
seeoseek 18
**facepalm**
sdroze1389 31
don't worry you're not an alcoholic, they go to meetings. drunks are either super high or super low functioning
Fuhkyoo 17
the family and I wanted to talk to you... we think you have a drinking solution....