Today, I noticed that I'm way more productive when I'm drinking than when I'm not. I think I just figured out why I'm related to so many alcoholics. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my alcoholic friend, who is now sober, told me I was a lot more fun when he was drinking. FML
Today, I noticed I have more alcohol in my fridge than I do actual food. FML
Today, I found out I was an alcoholic. Not from my friends or family, but because the ice-maker couldn't keep up with the amount of drinks I've been making. FML
Today, I realized that I'm a better human being when drunk or high, because at least then I don't seem like a wind-up toy about to snap. FML
Today, I found out why I get so red all over at parties. Turns out I'm allergic to alcohol. FML
Today, my wife told me alcohol gives me "increased confidence without increased ability." FML
Today, I found out that my sister's kids refer to me as their 'Drunkle'. I guess I have to admit to myself that I'm an alcoholic. FML
Today, I realized that my alcoholism has gotten so bad that I rotate liquor stores so the clerks don't think bad about me. FML
Today, my ten year-old son realized something. Beer is alcohol. People who drink a lot of alcohol are alcoholics. Therefore, I'm an alcoholic for drinking beer with dinner. He told everyone at his conservative private school and they tried to have an intervention. They pray for me every day. FML
Today, someone told me they liked my personality when I'm drunk. I asked, "What about when I'm sober?". "No, only when you're drinking." FML
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Top comments
cakefete2 31
You might just have the productivity equivalent of beer goggles. If you drink, set a limit. Don't use this as an "excuse" to descend into alcoholism.
Ayuki_fml 18
Looks like you found the secret to your productivity.
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Comments (45)
Slaught000 9
That is a major symptoms of severe ADD. Go to the doctor.
Attacksloth 33
Nothing wrong with this as long as you set a limit. Sometimes, if we have a term paper due, me, my classmates, and my professors will go out for a beer. Keyword: one beer. It just helps loosen you up. Never drink alone, though.
Vestin 18
Sounds like a dwarf to me...
Ilikepie82479 20
How does that even work
Soobie 10
I know exactly what OP means! I was the same way. I would be drinking and get all kinds of energy and ideas of things to do...mainly cleaning and organizing. I knew someone else who decided to get on a ladder and clean her windows while tipsy (she fell and sprained her wrist). That was before I devolved into a full-blown alcoholic who just drank to get drunk and thus had no energy to be productive. I've since quit drinking, but to my shame, sometimes I think I would clean and organize more if I still drank (assuming I could keep it at the "happy energetic buzz" level). I think the alcohol made me feel optimistic and less inhibited to tackle projects, maybe?
born_hustla 26
Are your relatives very productive as well?
RKD 23
I would talk to my doctor about it!
prettygurl89 16
Same here! I clean the SHIT outta my house when I'm drunk lol