Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. I was playing with his little sister by grabbing her arms and spinning her around. On one turn, she started screaming in pain. It turns out I dislocated both her shoulders. FML
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Today, I met my daughter's first serious boyfriend, only she forgot to mention he has hypermobility. All I did was shaking his hand normally, but it still dislocated three of his knuckles. My daughter made me call his mother to explain what I did. FML
Today, I finally got to see my boyfriend, after two months apart. As we hugged, he lifted me up and spun me around like in the movies. It would have been really romantic if I hadn't hit a little boy while he was riding past on his bike. I've just traumatized a little kid. FML
Today, I told my family how my wrist has been hurting for almost a week. My aunt’s chiropractor boyfriend then decided he could help by suddenly pulling my hand as hard as he could. Not only did my wrist pop and cause me more pain, but my shoulder got dislocated. FML
Today, my boyfriend accidentally broke my nose the day he was meeting my parents for the first time. FML
Today, I visited the hospital with my boyfriend to have an injury checked. When the doctor removed the band-aid, my boyfriend started screaming and passed out. I had to get him out of the room using a wheelchair. The "injury" is a cut on his finger. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad at a tennis game. I could tell he despised me from the start, but it only got worse when I played him. He smashed the ball at me and I went to hit it, but I missed and fell over, tearing my arm up on the gravel. He had a smirk on his face for the rest of the day. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time, and from what I'd heard he's super strict and uptight. I go in for the firm handshake after introducing myself while looking him in the eyes and I accidentally grabbed his junk. FML
Today, I was meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time. When I went to shake her dad's hand, I broke his watch. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML
Today, my first date consisted of him and me in the emergency room of the hospital after his little brother hit me in the face with a baseball bat. FML
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Top comments
prttyyngthng 0
That's one HELL of a first impression.
mogan_fml 0
the shoulders are supposed to stay IN the sockets? oh, oh dear.
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Comments (163)
pancakelover 0
You manhandled her didn't you?
ChickenAndRiceUK 0
lol shame! u must be BUTCH!
ShesaGoddess 0
I'm sure they loved you.
LovelyMonkey 0
Way to impress the in-laws...
drlinap 0
Nice, retard.
cheech19 1
omg omd iz she ok
CruelSirDrum 0
bummer. first impressions are everything. statistically people DO judge a book by a cover and on first impressions. hopefully they had an open-minded approach to the ordeal.
Illumi113 0
What the hell is wrong with you! I'm not very good with little kids, but even I know that is NOT how you play with a small child! YDI for being so careless!
ps592 0
shit bro how hard were you spinning her!!!?
IScreamRawr 4
That happened to my sister a lot when she was a baby and a tot. Iv done it, my parents, and my grandma... She was just fragile.
krissy33 0
Maybe you guys should have stopped doing it, then. Just a thought.