Today, I met a new client in person for the first time. When I went to shake his hand, it was made of plastic. Startled, I laughed thinking it was a practical joke. It wasn't. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was chatting with a customer who comes regularly to my job. He sticks his hand out and I put my hand on his, thinking he's giving me a high five. He was just waiting for his receipt. FML
Today, I was so lonely, I tried to hold hands with plastic "horror hand" I bought for Halloween. FML
Today, I was checking out a customer who seemed quite friendly. As I finished, he reached slightly over the counter and I impulsively reached out and shook his hand. He gave me a dumbfounded look and said, "Can I have my change please?" FML
Today, I arrived for a job interview and I wanted to give a firm handshake to make a good impression, because apparently that's a thing. I squeezed the interviewer's hand so hard I heard a "crack" and they winced in pain. I'm never taking advice from a random LinkedIn post ever again. FML
Today, I had no choice but to shake the hand of a customer who, just moments before, had the aforementioned hand down the front of his pants, scratching his snowglobes. FML
Today, at work at a car dealership, a seemingly overzealous customer shook my hand vigorously after we finalized a deal. I didn't think anything of it until a coworker pointed out that he was just trying to make my breasts jiggle. I'm a man. FML
Today, I met my mom's new business partner for the first time. I shook his hand, and introduced myself as "Lisa's daughter." I'm a guy. FML
Today, I locked lips with someone, or rather something, other than family for the first time in my life. It was a CPR dummy. FML
Today, I shook hands with a girl and held onto her hand while telling her she had very tiny, delicate hands. When I let go to look at them, I discovered she only had two fingers. FML
Today, I met my new boss and went for a confident handshake. Somehow, we both missed completely and ended up awkwardly grabbing each other’s thumbs. Neither of us corrected it, so we just shook hands like we were in a masonic lodge. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
kwbuzz23wk 0
#1 is an epic fail and when meeting a new person, especially a client, never assume they are joking until they admit to joking. but i can see how this happened
tellithowitis 13
What the heck!?!?!? ^^^
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (57)
cucuto89 0
why would he give you a prosthetic hand when you offer a handshake?
Emma Marshall 19
Maybe they both are 🤔
no_one_fml 3
Oh man... why would a client, in a professional setting, play a practical joke like this?
BeanieBaby 0
*awkward turtle*
dcapp 0
anyone woulda thought the same thing on impulse
MooKee 0
He probably felt like a patch of tulips after that one. Hah, at least you made a good post out of that experience!
glockjaw 0
What? it is definitely NOT the OP's fault. What kind of asshole offers their prosthetic limb for a handshake? OP, shouldn't feel at fault at all.
DaemonDoC 0
Agree with #16... not your fault, don't worry:)
Bookie2152 0
Last month, I had my right hand chopped off in a car accident. I recentlty had a prosthetic hand put it but it is hard to get used to. Today, after a business meeting, I went to shake this man's hand (it's only second nature) forgetting that my hand is made of plastic. Instead of just shaking my hand, the jerk just laughed at me. FML
thereitgo 1
YDI but i understand how it could happen. even in a professional setting, playing a joke like that could help break the ice and ease the tension. i wouldn't have laughed until i was sure though.
average_girl 0
i hope he wasnt offended... u shouldve just said "sorry i heard a funny joke earlier.." or something...