Today, I'm sitting in a public toilet when a guy kicks the door in and shoves a police badge in my face, screaming for me to tell him "the path of Lemmiwinks". After a whole minute of me shitting my balls off, he bursts into laughter and tells me I've been pranked. I was too embarrassed to report him. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was mugged in a public bathroom. All I had on me was a plastic sheriff's badge, so I gave it to them. They laughed me out of the restroom. FML
Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML
Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML
Today, I was sitting on the toilet when a dude broke into my stall, screamed, "No time to explain!" and ran out with a toilet paper roll. FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, I was taking a dump in the bathroom. The lights turned off and I was too embarrassed to come out of the stall. The janitor walked in, turned the lights on and asked If anyone was there. I stayed quiet. He turned the lights back off and locked me in the bathroom. FML
Today, I walked into a public toilet and I opened a stall door, only to discover someone who had forgotten to lock the door sitting on the can. Instead of saying "Sorry," I panicked and said, "Nice shoes!" I then had to wait until they left because I was too embarrassed to face them. FML
Today, I was in a public toilet taking a dump. I then noticed someone trying to peep under the door, so I kicked them in the head as hard as I could. Turned out it was a 5-year-old looking for his parent. FML
Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML
Today, I was pooping in a public toilet and a kid had walked in on me. I then heard him tell his dad, "It's okay, I didn't see anything, he was fat so his chubby legs hid it." FML
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Top comments
satanic_fml 13
the ****??
skinthesnakes 6
should have been like i plead the 5th and sat there silent as he listens to your shit sounds.
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Comments (214)
glitterme 5
I am so sorry for you that is pretty shitty fyl
WCARlover 35
You thinks of that?! That's a messed up prank
blacksswan 10
Who?
leileigrr55 0
Speak English.
PennyLane27 32
lol! That's really bizarre. FYL. ...and FML to anyone who now has the Lemmiwinks song stuck in their head ;)
audiophileMom 11
I actually do...
kittykat1501 31
what song?
LacyWings 3
I hope your okay!
RaggleFrock 13
George?
cradle6 13
To anyone who doesnt know, what the cop said is a reference to a South Park episode in which a gerbil named Lemmiwinks is shoved up the ass of a character. Hope that helped.
IndiRae 9
I didn't know this before I read the FML, and I still enjoyed it. It just sounds like the cop pulled some random shit to **** with OP.... what the **** is wrong with this South Park show, anyway?
CryMoreFMLs 15
Alot, Indi. If you're into some wierd shit, youshould check it out. It's like Family Guy but with kids instead of adults/teens.
urdirtyolduncle 15
it's a stupid show. a bad influence on anyone who watches it.
jessiejess020 0
A great adventure is waiting for you ahead XD
Tavers 19
Ow...
howslife123 0
Guys I'm starting to think the man wasn't actually a cop -.-
cradle6 13
Honestly South Park is an excellent show that makes very good moral, political, ideological, and logical statements. There's a message behind almost every episode, and genuine intelligence is always present, but sometimes I think Matt and Trey go for some shock value as well.
Quiet_one 22
Only sometimes, 177? ;) That show lives off of shock value, although if you think about it enough most episodes do have some kind of message to them as well. But really, if you took out all of the shock humor most episodes would only be about 2 minutes long. (I love South Park, btw)
KymanxStenny 2
South Park is NOTHING like Family Guy South Park = Awesome, outstanding, funny, and a great comedy with moral. Family Guy = lame, stupid, not even funny, and poorly written.
TonyLeePrice 0
I **** sheep.
bertoelmexicano 6
Wait whos the one that had poop hanging out their butt and could of easily smeared it on the genius prankster?
IndiRae 9
It's people like you that _____. Go ahead people, fill in the blank. Pretty much ******* anything works.
nadhirah 4
That guy is so mean
20jetsgo 3
No... Its a Dog eat Dog world, the strong survive hahaha
PennyLane27 32
"The road ahead/ is filled with danger and fright. But push onwards Lemmiwinks / with all of your might!"