Today, I'm sitting in a public toilet when a guy kicks the door in and shoves a police badge in my face, screaming for me to tell him "the path of Lemmiwinks". After a whole minute of me shitting my balls off, he bursts into laughter and tells me I've been pranked. I was too embarrassed to report him. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was mugged in a public bathroom. All I had on me was a plastic sheriff's badge, so I gave it to them. They laughed me out of the restroom. FML
Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML
Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML
Today, I was sitting on the toilet when a dude broke into my stall, screamed, "No time to explain!" and ran out with a toilet paper roll. FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, I was taking a dump in the bathroom. The lights turned off and I was too embarrassed to come out of the stall. The janitor walked in, turned the lights on and asked If anyone was there. I stayed quiet. He turned the lights back off and locked me in the bathroom. FML
Today, I walked into a public toilet and I opened a stall door, only to discover someone who had forgotten to lock the door sitting on the can. Instead of saying "Sorry," I panicked and said, "Nice shoes!" I then had to wait until they left because I was too embarrassed to face them. FML
Today, I was in a public toilet taking a dump. I then noticed someone trying to peep under the door, so I kicked them in the head as hard as I could. Turned out it was a 5-year-old looking for his parent. FML
Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML
Today, I was pooping in a public toilet and a kid had walked in on me. I then heard him tell his dad, "It's okay, I didn't see anything, he was fat so his chubby legs hid it." FML
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Top comments
satanic_fml 13
the ****??
skinthesnakes 6
should have been like i plead the 5th and sat there silent as he listens to your shit sounds.
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Comments (214)
eurekaroy 6
Your on Candid camera!
Midget9 0
You're*
Nyolia 11
You don't even have to say you were taking a dump. You could've reported him and said, "This guy burst into my stall with a badge blah blah blah..." You get the idea.
fadingfaith 4
I would assume they would know Op was taking a crap if he was in the stall...
PennyLane27 32
The road ahead is filled with danger and fright but push onwards Lemmiwinks with all of your might!!
PennyLane27 32
Sorry for the double post.
zachherbert 10
When I first read this I thought it said 'impressed to report him'.
DrIDGAF 7
Should of hit him straight in the face with your penis
Sydnayy 4
Your picture.
CAbullet_Caitlin 0
I hate it when that happens.
maxtheman 0
Looks like we have a 9er 9er while taking a 2er 2er
mrtofu 3
Should have stood up and pissed on him.
IndiRae 9
When in doubt; piss on a cop.
False_Stupidity 42
That would have pissed him off.. =)
hogs3212 0
Sounds like u were in a very shitty situation.
windfuelsfire 10
its a good thing you weren't high when that happened