Today, I'm sitting in a public toilet when a guy kicks the door in and shoves a police badge in my face, screaming for me to tell him "the path of Lemmiwinks". After a whole minute of me shitting my balls off, he bursts into laughter and tells me I've been pranked. I was too embarrassed to report him. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was mugged in a public bathroom. All I had on me was a plastic sheriff's badge, so I gave it to them. They laughed me out of the restroom. FML
Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML
Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML
Today, I was sitting on the toilet when a dude broke into my stall, screamed, "No time to explain!" and ran out with a toilet paper roll. FML
Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML
Today, I was taking a dump in the bathroom. The lights turned off and I was too embarrassed to come out of the stall. The janitor walked in, turned the lights on and asked If anyone was there. I stayed quiet. He turned the lights back off and locked me in the bathroom. FML
Today, I walked into a public toilet and I opened a stall door, only to discover someone who had forgotten to lock the door sitting on the can. Instead of saying "Sorry," I panicked and said, "Nice shoes!" I then had to wait until they left because I was too embarrassed to face them. FML
Today, I was in a public toilet taking a dump. I then noticed someone trying to peep under the door, so I kicked them in the head as hard as I could. Turned out it was a 5-year-old looking for his parent. FML
Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML
Today, I was pooping in a public toilet and a kid had walked in on me. I then heard him tell his dad, "It's okay, I didn't see anything, he was fat so his chubby legs hid it." FML
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Top comments
satanic_fml 13
the ****??
skinthesnakes 6
should have been like i plead the 5th and sat there silent as he listens to your shit sounds.
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Comments (214)
RotaBoy27 0
Lemiwinks is the rodent used to shove into Mr. Slaves ass by Mr. Garrison. South Park reference is always cool.
619warrior281 5
"lemmiwinks". what an amazing word.
sparxva 12
You should have stood up and pissed on his pants. Make it look like he wet himself. That's what Jack Nicholson would do...
bubo_fml 11
Yeah, I woulda pissed on 'im!
icic6772 0
South park gerbil
ryanbeast 7
******** your balls off? what is that supposed to mean? it seems like anymore every fml has unusual descriptions.
topazoo 5
Brave Brave Lemiwinks is on the road again, He must escape the gay man's ass or he shall soon be dead. - South Park
vietguy808 0
Would've kicked his ass after my shit
Blackxhawk 0
You were to embarrassed to report it but your fine letting us know?
The__Redneck 7
If someone bursts into the bathroom and starts screaming at you, then unless they are pointing a weapon in your face you are perfectly entitled to punch them in the nuts. Hard.