Today, I'm in a military academy with a strict no alcohol policy. My friends drunk call me practically every night to tell me how much fun they are having. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my best friend had the balls to call me an alcoholic. She snuck vodka on a cruise ship in a Listerine bottle. I've never had a drink. FML
Today, my alcoholic friend, who is now sober, told me I was a lot more fun when he was drinking. FML
Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home drunk from a party last night. They said I couldn't hang out with my best friend anymore as he's a "bad influence". He was the only one sober in our group and drove me home safely. FML
Today, it was my friend's 18th birthday. She had invited us out drinking. I've never had alcohol before and was very excited. I got a call explaining that she had invited one too many and asked me not to come. People bragging on Facebook about what a great time they were having didn't help either. FML
Today, at dinner, I accidentally let it slip that I'd taken a small sip of alcohol a few years ago and hated it. My extremely strict parents are now trying to get me into rehab. FML
Today, I got drunk until morning at a college friend's apartment with bunch of strangers. Some officials came in due to the noise and I tried to scare them away by pretending to sing a latin song of worship I made up, thinking they'd respect the gathering if it was a religious one. FML
Today, as a recovering alcoholic, I'm at a conference where letting loose is expected and, to a point, encouraged. I've been sober for 2.5 years and am pretty sure I managed to piss off just about everyone with how miserable I was listening to them describe my former favorite mixed drinks and shots. I miss wine. FML
Today, I found out that my "friends" only invite me to their parties when they need a designated driver. Apparently I'm "not fun" because I don't drink, which "ruins the party". FML
Today, I was arrested for drinking in public. It was my friend who was drinking; I was taking the alcohol from her so she wouldn't be arrested. FML
Today, it's 2:23 in the morning, and my drunken girlfriend has just rung me up from a party where she's the only girl there. She seems to be having a great time. FML
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Top comments
Philintheblankz 14
If your friends are out getting drunk practically every night then I would say your gonna be much better off than them.
PandaBurst 10
Good on you for deciding to be one of our sexy men/women in uniform. It'll pay off. Plus, you'll get more franks bought for you in the future when you're wearing your uniform. ;-)
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Comments (86)
ruckfules85 34
Stay positive. At least you know you're doing something with your life.
JBrownie123 24
So? You shouldn't care about getting drunk if you're doing what you want and being in a military academy.
brianax36 14
There's a lot of people who join for the benefits. Not because they really want to.
harp 9
You don't get into the Military Academies for the benefits, you need to be appointed by your congressman
JBrownie123 24
I also think it's a very noble thing he's doing. He shouldn't need to worry about going out drinking when he's defending his country.
unknown2126 14
Think of it like this, while you step up to defend what's right, they stay. Locked in immaturity, becoming worthless drunks, with nothing to do than to call someone who is actually moving toward with their life
Faff 20
ha!! defend what's right? It's a military academy, not Greenpeace.
Jhtsosa 5
You should be able to have some kind of fun without alcohol.
ilytyvm 25
One, who the hell is saying that the OP deserves it? What exactly is making him deserving of his friends purposely messing with him to make him feel badly about not being allowed to drink? OP, that sucks. You need some new friends. I know one of my exes struggled with not being allowed to drink on base either. Eventually, they got caught, so I wouldn't recommend doing that. haha
morella_xx 29
While I voted FYL, I do think OP deserves it a tiny bit. S/he chose to enroll there knowing the dry policy.
teresa96706 29
I chose YDI for the same reason #56 did. If OP cares so much/is jealous that his friends drunk call him when he can't drink, then why are they in that academy? I don't understand why people are saying he needs new friends.
perdix 31
Hey, you get to shoot guns and blow up shit. Also, ladies love a man in uniform, so youll be ok:D
DrEnia1at0r 20
Joke is on them, you're in a military academy. Those are hard as hell to get into, I know because I'm trying.
Mr_Mole 24
When you're older, you'll realise you haven't missed out on anything.
T9FTW 20
That's when you black their number(s).
articnights2 2
Block?
jw90 18
First off thank you for what you do for our country OP. And second you'll be better off in the long run. Cuz getting smashed every night and doing stupid things could get you terminated from the military. Be glad you're not doing what they are.