Health: Today, I'm at my grandparents' house to help clear snow. I was... - FML

By Snowtoe

Today, I'm at my grandparents' house to help clear snow. I was making a path to the driveway by pushing the snow out of the way. I saw a big pile and went to kick it really hard. Alas, it was a step. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6375

You deserved it

3109

Tweet

Share

Dementia or hate? You decide

Business savvy

Leave me alone

By anon - United Kingdom - London

Today, a notification from Tinder popped up on my girlfriend's phone, 'Congratulations, you have a new match'. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28671

You deserved it

2340

Tweet

Share

By koletatlow19 - Canada

Today, my boss fired me because "I didn't get the right kind of coffee beans." FML

I agree, your life sucks

26982

You deserved it

3813

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

72496

You deserved it

7976

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, eating my weight in breadsticks at Olive Garden and trying to relive my childhood via a pogo stick was not a good combination. My new shoes are now a different color. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8561

You deserved it

38327

Tweet

Share

By communistgirl - United States

Today, I had to do community service work, so I helped out at a senior center. One of the confused elderly patients, who believed the Cold War was still on, thought I was a Soviet and started screaming about how I was going to nuke his country. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26844

You deserved it

4041

Tweet

Share

By thatsjustlovely - United States

Today, it is New Year's Day. While all of my friends are out partying, I stayed home and mastered level 34 on FarmVille. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13571

You deserved it

36840

Tweet

Share

By Brad - Canada

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for someone else. An hour earlier I had just gotten permission from her dad to propose. FML

I agree, your life sucks

157076

You deserved it

7486

Tweet

Share

By Gabi - United States

Today, my boyfriend would rather jerk off than have sex with me. Even if I'm next to him in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35069

You deserved it

6515

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 17/2/2021 11:01

Cognitive dissonance

Today, in the same conversation with the same person, I got chewed out because our kids want to spend more time with me than her, and also because the kids spend too much time with her and she can’t work from home effectively. Can anyone explain how that works? FML

I agree, your life sucks

729

You deserved it

72

Tweet

Share

By constantine - United States

Today, I wanted to go clubbing with my friends. I started drinking at home to save on the price of drinks, instead I fell asleep on my couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8534

You deserved it

36031

Tweet

Share

By mszoe - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was checking the family's computer history, and found that "Shrek Porn" had been searched multiple times. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33080

You deserved it

3575

Tweet

Share

By Soapy - United States

Today, I spent 3 hours washing my hands to get the pony out of the soap bar. I'm 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13630

You deserved it

55301

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 26/4/2021 16:59

Kids these days…

Today, my mom asked me what I did with the first paycheck from my first "big girl" job. I told her I paid down my credit debt like a responsible adult. She rolled her eyes and said she was disappointed in me for not treating myself. She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1340

You deserved it

74

Tweet

Share

By HolyRavioli - United Kingdom

Today, I sat at work for 8 hours daydreaming about the homemade 4 cheese ravioli I would come home to after spending 3 hours making it from scratch the night before. When I finally got home and heated the ravioli, I dropped it all over my feet, giving me second degree burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23220

You deserved it

2738

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15768

You deserved it

37422

Tweet

Share

By SkipBeatOtaku - 29/8/2020 23:02

Harsh

Today, my estranged father died. No one bothered to tell me, and the only reason I found out was because his wife texted my sister. When I asked about the service, I was told I was no welcome in the state he had lived in, because I was no longer family. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1419

You deserved it

311

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 22/12/2020 05:02 - United States - Gainesville

Go away, creep

Today, I learned that my stalker is still trying to weasel their way into my life even after they doxxed me, cyberstalked me, harassed me, threatened me, and attempted blackmail on me. All this just because I told them that their boyfriend groomed me when I was a minor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

903

You deserved it

64

Tweet

Share

By

Today, I got pulled over for violating hands-free law and not having an updated address on my driver's license. Two days ago, I got pulled over for the same reasons. Now, I have four tickets I need to deal with. FML

I agree, your life sucks

654

You deserved it

4443

Tweet

Share

By Username - United States

Today, I found out how painful it is when your ceiling fan falls on you. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38378

You deserved it

3240

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I received a rejection letter from a college that I'd applied to 6 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34023

You deserved it

2600

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I broke a nail at school. The edge kept getting caught on things, so I thought I could file it down by rubbing it on my jeans. Apparently it looked like I was doing something else, because I was called into the principal's office to discuss why "certain things" should be done in private. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34020

You deserved it

5488

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 24/10/2020 11:03 - United States - Kenton

Thanks, mom

Today, my mom saw me holding a plant and told me to walk around with it, to replace all of the oxygen I waste. FML

I agree, your life sucks

830

You deserved it

186

Tweet

Share

By iappreciatethesentiment - 9/5/2021 17:01

Help! I need somebody!

Today, I was at my mom's when I suddenly doubled over in pain. It was so bad that I begging to be taken to the hospital, just when her dog started coughing. She immediately ran to her dog, asked if she was OK, saying that she hates to see anyone she loves in pain. I sat there hunched over in disbelief. FML

I agree, your life sucks

852

You deserved it

61

Tweet

Share

By Broken - United States

Today, I was running with my sister's dog. It had the brilliant idea of shooting between my legs and I immediately faceplanted on the cement. I now have a swollen nose and cuts all over my body. I'm a grown man who does martial arts and I got beat up by a dog the size of a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33808

You deserved it

6721

Tweet

Share

By stupidlights - United States

Today, I left my lights on in my car. I realized it at lunch, made sure to turn the lights off and tried to start it. The battery was dead, and I called my dad to jump it before I got back from my game. I come back from my game and the lights were on. He left the lights on after the jump. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45365

You deserved it

6242

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at my friends house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girl if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dial my number and look down to find she has my number is saved in her phone as ASS FACE #3. FML

I agree, your life sucks

68714

You deserved it

10480

Tweet

Share

By WeakBitch

Today, during a judo session, I was paired with a thin, frail-looking rookie. Before a mock skirmish, as I'm much bigger, I said I'd take it easy on her, but also to give it her best shot. She immediately threw me on my face to the floor, knocking me out cold in 7 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1707

You deserved it

7057

Tweet

Share

By Jules - 29/10/2020 02:03 - Germany - Aachen

Modernity

Today, my health insurance has finally gone digital, so I sent them a message through their webpage, asking a question. I then got an email, telling me they'd replied. I had to log into their webpage again to see the reply, which read, "A letter concerning your question has been sent to you by post." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1053

You deserved it

68

Tweet

Share

By verycherryfucked - United States - Bronx

Today, I had to go to the hospital for an allergic reaction. Turns out, I'm highly allergic to cherry blossoms. My wife and I just bought a house and moved into a new neighborhood. Almost every block in this neighborhood, including my own, has rows and rows of cherry blossom trees. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47139

You deserved it

3564

Tweet

Share

By DWIcop

Today, while leaving our county courthouse after testifying as the arresting officer in multiple DWI cases, I hit a wrong way sign in the court’s parking lot. All the defense attorneys were outside, asking me if I was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1689

You deserved it

767

Tweet

Share

By saqmuel093 - Malaysia - Tatau

Today, I ran out of cash. The nearest ATM to my house is over a half hour away by foot. After walking all the way there under the blistering heat of the sun, I realized I'd left my card back at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21567

You deserved it

23731

Tweet

Share

By foreveralone - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I was trying to convince my flatmate to agree to let me get us a kitten. After gushing about how cute they are, and showing her loads of pictures, she just stared at me and said, "You really need a penis inside you now and again." FML

I agree, your life sucks

19711

You deserved it

23366

Tweet

Share

By turnedintoinsomniac - United States

Today, after months of living with my roommate's horrific snoring, I looked over to see her sleeping quietly. Elated that I might actually get a full night of rest for once, I went to bed. Just as my eyelids began to droop, she started making vile hissing sounds. Yes, hissing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30391

You deserved it

2841

Tweet

Share

By singlesoon - Canada

Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40646

You deserved it

7110

Tweet

Share

By Kev - United States - Flemington

Today, I got drunk, broke up with my girlfriend, and sent my grandma nude pics, thinking she was my girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23056

You deserved it

43674

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend compared my boobs to a flat tire. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37242

You deserved it

7129

Tweet

Share

By loving grandaughter - United States

Today, after months of cooking breakfast, lunch, and dinner for my husband's grandmother due to her getting a hip replacement, I overheard her calling me a whore over the phone from the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34843

You deserved it

2736

Tweet

Share

By KittyNeko - United States

Today, I allowed my friend to talk me into going on a date. The guy's truck smelled like formaldehyde - I'm assuming from the snake that he apparently tried to turn into a necklace. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27990

You deserved it

3172

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Guatemala

Today, I got mugged. After taking my cell phone, the guy politely said: "Thanks. Have a nice evening. Be careful on your way home." FML

I agree, your life sucks

38018

You deserved it

3165

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was supposed to hear back from a major scholarship competition. After months of waiting, during which my parents were convinced I had won, I discovered that my entry had never been received. Apparently the woman I had confirmed with had had a long day, and lied so that she could go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

63812

You deserved it

2850

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By SlugsOnDrugs | 13

#7388355 - Saturday 14 January 2017 14:46

Alas, you've made a mistake.

By chirstinap325 | 21

#7388360 - Saturday 14 January 2017 14:51

I would have personally used the shovel to hit it over

COMMENTS

By SlugsOnDrugs | 13

#7388355 - Saturday 14 January 2017 14:46

Alas, you've made a mistake.

By chirstinap325 | 21

#7388360 - Saturday 14 January 2017 14:51

I would have personally used the shovel to hit it over

By species4872 | 19

#7388591 - Saturday 14 January 2017 20:35

<p> You stepped into that one.</p>

By Tarlachia | 33

#7388603 - Saturday 14 January 2017 20:50

Movable foot, meet immovable object.

By Steve115s | 7

#7389333 - Sunday 15 January 2017 19:31

Ouch dude