Miscellaneous: Today, I logged on to Facebook for the first time in nine days.... - FML

By zuut - 18/01/2009 05:22 - Australia

Today, I logged on to Facebook for the first time in nine days. No new notifications. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 258

You deserved it 9 338

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

Poked

By Facebook - 13/06/2009 16:11 - United States

Today, I logged into Facebook for the first time in a month. I had only 3 new notifications, that were to tell me that the poker application I used on there "missed me" and wanted to give me 10,000 free chips. My poker app talks to me more than my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 660

You deserved it 6 643

Dopamine

By Kaya Marley Ramsey - 05/10/2021 06:00

Today, Facebook stopped working and I realized how emotionally dependent I am on social media. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 1 082

Nice try

By No.Life. - 14/07/2010 04:09 - United States

Today, I decided not to go on Facebook so people would actually think that I have a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 542

You deserved it 32 589

By supercharged - 05/04/2015 18:03 - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, I came back from a week-long vacation where I had no internet whatsoever. I turned on my phone to get notifications, hoping to see a message or two that I'd missed while gone. There was 1 notification, telling me how many FMLs were posted while I was away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 182

You deserved it 3 353

Get a life

By Anonymous - 23/02/2011 08:17 - United States

Today, I spent an hour deleting 70 of my status posts from the past week so I don't look so addicted to Facebook. Damn, I need a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 811

You deserved it 42 370

By NoLife - 15/05/2011 18:49 - United States

Today, I purposely went offline on Facebook chat, just so people would think I actually have a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 084

You deserved it 34 739

By Noname - 11/02/2009 01:22 - United States

Today, I got on Facebook and realized the only two friend requests I've had in 2 months are both from my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 357

You deserved it 5 502

What did I do?

By Ryan McArdle - 25/01/2021 10:58

Today, I tried to log into Instagram for the first time in 2 days. They deactivated my account for violating their guidelines. I haven't posted a picture or made a comment in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 781

You deserved it 142

By unlovedfatty - 16/12/2010 01:01 - United States

Today, I reactivated my Facebook account, having not used it for three months. My "friends" didn't realize this. According to their recent status updates, I'm disgustingly fat, have a hook nose, and I'm secretly hated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 582

You deserved it 4 981

By Needsanewjob - 10/01/2012 15:34 - United States

Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 508

You deserved it 55 462

Next

Top comments

your_face 15

Sunday 1 March 2009 17:32

It's pathetic that you need FB action to feel good about yourself.

tishytot 0

Friday 6 February 2009 19:54

My power has been out for over 2 weeks because of an ice storm. I have no new notifications on Facebook. I have nothing on Myspace. Nothing on Twitter, or any other website I use. **** your life? **** my life.

Comments

bigbangvip1 7

Saturday 18 May 2013 0:44

so??????????????????????????????????????

Beva_fml 15

Friday 28 June 2013 13:07

Am I supposed to feel sorry for you now?

BlackButlerFan 20

Thursday 18 July 2013 23:27

That sucks. I went on FB after 2 hours and had 120 notifications

madame_malfoy 4

Monday 22 July 2013 17:13

...so? I don't understand the FML...?

wolfstalker213 14

Thursday 5 September 2013 6:37

I havent gone on facebook in 7-9 months. Not a single notification. Not. One.

dearmeh 10

Thursday 19 September 2013 3:44

At least it wasn't a year with 1 notification...

Cass_x 22

Sunday 3 November 2013 9:10

My life in a nutshell.

Chaos72 15

Saturday 6 September 2014 11:39

It's just Facebook, what does it matter?

Solano2580 24

Sunday 2 November 2014 4:35

And? Does this cause your whole life to get worse? No, does it make you an asshole to everyone you know? No, stop wasting our time

evanawesome123 11

Sunday 9 November 2014 14:27

I haven't logged in in one year and no new notifications

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights, takes suggestive shots of his ass and legs, and uses them to trick people into thinking he's a girl so they buy him stuff in his online games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 965

You deserved it 4 008

Today, we were flying to Australia from New York with an 8-hour layover in New Zealand. We didn’t know where the hotel was, so we caught a taxi. The hotel was literally across from where the taxi picked us up. He did a full loop of the airport, dropped us off where he picked us up, and charged $50 due to "airport tax." FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 970

Today, I was walking out of a bar when someone grabbed me by the throat, and slammed me against a wall, saying "Stop fooling around with my wife, because next time - I'll kill you." I'm gay and haven't been with a woman since 1985. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 501

You deserved it 7 061

Today, I finally found our big casserole in the attic. Once the food was all nicely layered into it, I realized why it had been in the attic. It doesn't actually fit into our standard-sized oven. By a few millimeters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 774

You deserved it 286

Today, my son is an idiot, but I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt by giving him a job as a cashier in one of my stores. Within half an hour, I was sent security footage from that store's manager showing my son on his phone, ignoring customers, picking his nose, and stealing money from the till. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005

You deserved it 446

Today, I allowed my friend to talk me into going on a date. The guy's truck smelled like formaldehyde - I'm assuming from the snake that he apparently tried to turn into a necklace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 090

You deserved it 3 197