Today, I left the iron and ironing board in my room. While I was at school, my mom decided to do some ironing, and did it in my room for convenience. The iron needed water, so she took a water bottle from my dresser and poured it in. It was my secret vodka stash, and the iron caught on fire. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my mom was in the kitchen when her shirt caught on fire. Acting quickly, I poured my glass of water on her. Instead of thanking me, she yelled at me for making a mess. FML
Today, while ironing some shirts, my cat decided to hop up and investigate. To prevent him from burning himself, I instinctively moved the iron away and placed it flat on my other hand. FML
Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML
Today, I decided to be healthy and drink a tall glass of water whilst doing my assignment that is due in three days. I managed to spill the entire glass over my laptop. I flipped it over and used a hairdryer to dry it off. While doing that, I managed to melt my keyboard. FML
Today, I was using my new curling iron to curl my hair. I was sitting down. Suddenly I dropped the iron and, as a reflex, I caught it between my bare thighs. FML
Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML
Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML
Today, I was pouring boiling water into a cup, and I accidentally spilled it all over my hand. My mother responded by slapping me for getting water everywhere. My hand is scorched red, but thanks, I love you too, mother. FML
Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML
Today, I spent hours cleaning the kitchen that my slob roommates always neglect. I scrubbed the floor, emptied the fridge, washed all the dishes, etc. When I was done, I was thirsty so I got myself a soda. I opened the can, and it exploded and sprayed everything I had just washed. FML
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Top comments
omg_18 0
not so secret if it was sitting on your dresser now was it. fail.
Zerenade 0
Wow, what a waste of a tasty beverage.
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Comments (154)
LysergicDelight 0
Not such a secret anymore.
ello_ello 0
drunk
mf_fml 0
SHE DIDN'T SMELL THAT IT WASN'T WATER?
kennymack961 0
Vodka doesn't smell that strongly.
BaldOuting 0
ballsy to leave it out as a water bottle on the dresser - but clearly it worked if she thought it was water. although now she's going to question every bottle of water/juice/soda you ever take a sip out of!
platypusrex256 2
your mom is retarded hahaha
may_cause_fail 0
Obviously, it could not have been very secret. Fail. :D
MrBigDog2U 0
I guess I'm a little dubious. Who leaves top shelf vodka sitting out in a water bottle?
HighasaCloud 46
Because a water bottle in a bedroom is nothing at all suspicious and would not warrant a second glance, much less investigation of it's contents. Nobody would think twice about it. It's a very smart tactic. Lern2Logic
nativebacon 0
I'm sure that she took it from ON TOP OF the dresser, not from inside it. Dur.
yeahreally 6
and thats when we put our secret vodka stash in hiding!
rabbi_zig 0
what kind of vodka are you drinking? very few vodkas light on fire