By peace_lost - 29/06/2009 22:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I walked to her couch while kissing with our eyes closed. Stumbling, we reached the couch and dropped our bodies, her on top of me. What I didn't know was that her kitty, Elvis, was napping. Elvis was very angry. FML
I agree, your life sucks 415
You deserved it 93

Top comments

So you were on a couch, with a hot girl on top of you, and you were yelling "Get off me, Elvis!"

sillypuppy 0

That is where Elvis meets pelvis--and then evil Elvis scratches horny pelvis.


Not THAT bad. Even the nastiest scratches go away pretty quickly.

sodaxpopxhiccups 0

No they don't. I got a scratch once from my cat, and I'll have the scar from it for the rest of my life. :|

Haha, yeah, I've got a real nasty scar on my right shoulder from where my kitten dug in as she was jumping off me cause she freaked. It's clear as ever and it's been almost a year, it's so not going away anytime soon

My friend had to get staples in the top of her head from getting attacked by a cat.

I have a scar down my leg from my cat, have had it for about 5 years now. Go away quickly ay?

Suffertree 0

The poor kitty. Hey OP. How about you and your **** girlfriend watch what the **** you're doing.

cmtriplecage 1

i think the last part of the picture is wrong he didnt puke he attacked and i have a cat and ive had a scratch that lasted pretty long buy now i cant find it lol so the first comment is right they scratches do go away

Entity4Infinity 0

what makes her a ****? cuz shes a girl whos kissing a guy and happens to have a guy under her. some stereotypes it would be different if she was pushing him for sex.... **** no.

bnwranbo 2

i have a scar on my chest from when a cat scratched me through my sweater about 7 years ago, still there... & this girl i know almost had her eye removed & now has a nasty scar on her eyelid from where a cat scratched her, that one they say will never go away

I got Cat Scratch Fever from a cat scratch... and became a nice specimen for intern doctors since cases are rare now. How very nice. Yes it is a real disease, google it.

I have a scar from when my cat scratched me 9 years ago.

Ditto here. I have a scar on my right cheek. At least I have dimples. All my friends thought it was a laugh mark until I told them.

same here. :( and yay, i love Bellen! Box brown is awesome. :D

Bud_fml 16

Even if the scratches were to go away, it was probably a total mood-killer :P

PeaceOutBaby18 0

when I hear Cat Scratch Fever I just think of the song by Ted Nugent you have nothing else to do but call girls *****? Really now, this is the second comment I've seen from you that's like that within like, two minutes. Not every girl that has sex is a ****, and you're giving the impression that you've gotten burned a lot, or haven't gotten anything at all, in either case you're not even worthy of pity because you're a jackass.

fmyfudginglife 0

He doesn't get any I can tell he wants to imagine all girls are ***** because then they'd have sex with him he has no other chance besides that

i've got a cat-related scar too. mine goes across my left wrist, so now i look like i'm emo...

my cat gogoed my eye. im now half blind.

My kitten gave catscratch fever to my whole family. My mom got in in her eye. It sucks cow nipples

whitehawkcc 0

what makes her a **** it was her boyfriend not some random guy she meet at the bar???

kcslgvr 11

I have that too! I originally had Lyme Disease, and after ten years I'm just getting rid of the Bartonella. It sucks, doesn't it? Oh well. At least I don't have one over those "ten day" doctors who think that a little more than a week of zithromax will cure a disease. Doctors can be such idiots. I hope that you are in great hands, Subtle!

Cats do leave horrible scars. My mom has one on her wrist from when we were trying to keep a cat from getting preggers (she had a littler of kittens she was nursing so we couldn't get her fixed yet). It's been about three years and it's still dark, dark purple and shiny. I've got my fair share of pet related scars, just none that obvious. Also, since it was mentioned, I hate doctors who are only in it for the money. I had tonsilitis for 6 months and saw my doctor after two weeks, a month, and three months and she insisted I was fine. The whole time my throat swelled more and more shut. I would have gone to a different doctor, but we live so far out in the country that there just isn't another one. I finally was able to see a specialist at the hospital (6 month waiting list), and he diagnosed me from the smell before he ever looked in my throat it was so severe. I'd hate to have something serious (like the diseases mentioned above) and receive the same treatment.

reillyrocketfuel 0

i have a nasty scar on my chest from my cat... that i got seven years ago. it's perfectly visable

one23four 0

I have a nasty scratch from my cat from two years ago - on the right side of my chest. You can still see it pretty clearly. Whoever said that scratches can go away easily must not have a cat..

XTheDesertSongX 17

it shows puke. not scratches....

Bucinka 5

Same here, I have a cat scratch on my hand from 1980. Come to think of it, FML.

same here, i still have a scar on my leg from when i picked up my cat by its tail (when i was 3)

loser2ish 0

same my cat gave me a scratch on my boob and now its been there for two years.

Yeeeaaaaaah, they don't always go away. I got scratched by my cat when I was in 3rd grade. 11 years later, I still have the scar

redsox4021 0

my cat has a scar on his back from where I bit him.

skullbashd 3

he's inbetween 2 pussied what's wrong with that

BroadwayBound 0

I have two long scars on my stomach from my cat too! =[ But it's all good because when people ask how I got them I say I got stabbed ;D

I'd be more worried about the cat with combined hundreds of pounds on it than a few scratches.

So you were on a couch, with a hot girl on top of you, and you were yelling "Get off me, Elvis!"

Etherial 0

All hail Alex. AWESOME reply - funnier than the original post :)

that's actually not funny... at all...

MeganH0LLYW00D 0

Come on! How is that not funny?! Hahaha, I enjoyed it!

Citrus_ 0

I wonder how that made the cat feel.

I think it would have been a little more humorous if he had said. "Elvis is now 6 feet under..."

onealhart54 0
mentholyptus 0

I like the way you told it :)

lyndis_fml 0

Poor Elvis. He will get over it.

awww! poor kitty! but you don't deserve it. it was an accident. but watch out next time

ImaginaryLightx 0

Elvis. What a cute name for a cat. haha

lifewithsarah 0
babybarb 0

Thank you very much, uh-huh

HAHAHAHAH Im sure the cat thanked him alright

thisishilarious 0

pathetic that you used the word kitty