Today, I left my parents house to drive 90 minutes back to college. As I was getting off the exit for my school, I realized I left my bright pink vibrator sitting on my dresser back at home. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got home from my vacation. The last few days of my trip, I stayed at my father's house. I was having trouble sleeping last night so I decided to use a little "discreet" vibrator that I travel with. When I unpacked back home, I realized I'd forgotten the vibrator in my bed at my father's house. I'm mortified. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, I got home from my 6-week vacation. Apparently, my mum cleaned my room for me while I was gone because my vibrator was neatly tucked into my blanket, next to my pillow instead of being hidden under my bed. FML
Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML
Today, I realized that the only place my missing vibrator can be is at the house of the people I just dogsat for. In their spare room. Which also serves as their kids' playroom. FML
Today, I got a new vibrator, raced all the way home, tore my pants off, took it out of the box, and then my grandmother walked in my front door. Apparently she's spending the night so she can make it to a doctor's appointment in the morning. FML
Today, I ran out of underwear and so I went into my mom's drawer to borrow a pair from her. It was then that I found out my mom uses the same vibrator as I do. FML
Today, at work, my vibrator rolled out of my bag so far down the table that I couldn’t catch it, and had to run round the table to grab it by leaning between two of my male coworkers. That vibrator lives under my bed, so the only way it could've got in my work bag would be my boyfriend pranking me. FML
Today, the vibrator I ordered online was delivered. I'd paid extra to make sure it would be here before the weekend, so I could sneak it into my room while everyone was gone. My dad decided to stay home all day and answer the door ahead of me. FML
Today, I needed money to go to the movie. I asked my mom if I could reach in her purse and grab a few bucks. When I opened up her purse her phone started to vibrate. I yelled over to my mom that her phone was ringing. She said the phone was next to her. I looked in the purse. It was a vibrator. FML
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Top comments
Houdrummer 0
If your dad catches it your F'd. But if your mom catches it she might just hide it for you. hide it in her Vajay-jay
liquidpaper 0
Could be worse. Unless your parents are the freaky religious masturbation-is-a-sin type, in which case FYL.
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Comments (72)
M_U_F_F_I_N918 0
so what did u do?
hanners 0
that sucks dudee. but you could just go and get it, it isn't terribly far.
Gaiwa 0
And whats the point? Are your parents go in your room every day or what?
PuppetPoison 1
Go back and get it. A ninety minute drive is not a long time. Really.
redhedsaysrawr 18
i love how you say that... you know, GAS matters... stupid rich people...
hootersgirl 0
yum
Leftieswillrule 3
why did you take it back home with you in the first place?
drewgreenan 0
maybe it was Christmas break or something...
skrillexFTW47 5
I don't understand why you needed to bring it along with you. Going a week or two without shouldn't be that difficult. Jeez.
tutti77 3
How did you notice? I'm kinda scared...
LadyEmi 15
Uhm...good luck with that. Hope your parents aren't the type to shun you for masturbating. >.