Today, I left my parents house to drive 90 minutes back to college. As I was getting off the exit for my school, I realized I left my bright pink vibrator sitting on my dresser back at home. FML
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70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I got home from my vacation. The last few days of my trip, I stayed at my father's house. I was having trouble sleeping last night so I decided to use a little "discreet" vibrator that I travel with. When I unpacked back home, I realized I'd forgotten the vibrator in my bed at my father's house. I'm mortified. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, I got home from my 6-week vacation. Apparently, my mum cleaned my room for me while I was gone because my vibrator was neatly tucked into my blanket, next to my pillow instead of being hidden under my bed. FML
Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML
Today, I realized that the only place my missing vibrator can be is at the house of the people I just dogsat for. In their spare room. Which also serves as their kids' playroom. FML
Today, I got a new vibrator, raced all the way home, tore my pants off, took it out of the box, and then my grandmother walked in my front door. Apparently she's spending the night so she can make it to a doctor's appointment in the morning. FML
Today, I ran out of underwear and so I went into my mom's drawer to borrow a pair from her. It was then that I found out my mom uses the same vibrator as I do. FML
Today, at work, my vibrator rolled out of my bag so far down the table that I couldn’t catch it, and had to run round the table to grab it by leaning between two of my male coworkers. That vibrator lives under my bed, so the only way it could've got in my work bag would be my boyfriend pranking me. FML
Today, the vibrator I ordered online was delivered. I'd paid extra to make sure it would be here before the weekend, so I could sneak it into my room while everyone was gone. My dad decided to stay home all day and answer the door ahead of me. FML
Today, I needed money to go to the movie. I asked my mom if I could reach in her purse and grab a few bucks. When I opened up her purse her phone started to vibrate. I yelled over to my mom that her phone was ringing. She said the phone was next to her. I looked in the purse. It was a vibrator. FML
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Top comments
Houdrummer 0
If your dad catches it your F'd. But if your mom catches it she might just hide it for you. hide it in her Vajay-jay
liquidpaper 0
Could be worse. Unless your parents are the freaky religious masturbation-is-a-sin type, in which case FYL.
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Comments (72)
Tehalon 0
@12, Being worried what your parents might think of you and being "mature" (has nothing to do with being mature, but with having needs) are two things that are completely seperate things. And everyone deserves absolute privacy if they ask for it. It has also to do with trust in one another.
PTERONOPHOBIA 0
Yeah, #12... I don't think you quite understand what was being said? Ditto what number #13 said.
ubbernoob 0
wow. to miss a bright pink vibrator on the dresser? that takes real skill. But if worse come to worst then you will always have your hand ;)
PsyPako 0
Don't worry. They will think it is just a huge lipstick(with gloss)..... haahahahahahahaha
lolololcheese 0
omg that sucks but you can always use something else until you get it back.
Mylees 0
lmfao ur so funny
Callyn 47
Eh, it's only 90 minutes. My school is five and a half hours away from my parents house, you can actually do the drive in one day while it would take me three to driver to school, drive back home and grab it and then drive back to school.
lewalrus 4
Oh, damn, well, use your hands in the meantime.
TheNameless_fml 0
90 minutes really isn't that far. I'd go back the next day or on the weekend or something.
jake_fml 0
have any siblings? blame it on them, it'd be really funny if you had a brother, haha ,just the thought makes me laghe. "son your sister says the vibrater is yours, do you have ang thing you need to tell me?" hahahahaha
khaldun 0
OP: Stop whining, go home and get it. Tell them you forgot something else and grab that, too. If they've found it before you get back, oh well. Live with it. This isn't much of a FML. They'll get over it, you will too. #13, I have to kinda echo #12 on the privacy thing. You can ask for your privacy while you're at home and expect it, but once you're gone it's your parents house and they can do whatever they want in your room. You're right, it's a trust thing, and demanding that your parents stay out of your room while you're not there is not very trusting. Also, no one "deserves" absolute privacy from their *parents.* That's just a fact of life. XD On the other hand (to disagree with part of what #12 said), if you're 18 you're old enough to own a vibrator. Telling someone they're too immature to own one is like telling them they're too immature to **********, which is just dumb if they're 18. #19, I go to school 16 and a half hours away from home and I've made that drive straight through at least 5 times on my own. (Twice without cruise control... damn that was a pain in the ass.) You could make your trip three times in a single day, or at least two times easily. It's just not particularly fun.