Intimacy, Sex, Ghosting and Cars: Remember me?

Remember me?

By Anonymous - 07/07/2021 18:01

Today, I had a flat tire and took it to the local tire store. Turns out, the guy I had sex with once and ghosted was working there. He fixed my flat and asked if I remembered him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 1 684

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Revenge is a wheel best served cold

By jacked - 17/04/2009 02:38 - United States

Today, my car got a flat tire. I jacked up my car, removed the flat, and went to get my spare out of the trunk. Where my spare is supposed to be, I found a note. It said, "You're a bitch - John". John is my ex-boyfriend. He borrowed my car the day we broke up, apparently he stole my spare tire too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 169

You deserved it 9 768

Bad day, huh?

By Anonymous - 09/10/2024 12:00 - United States - Boulder

Today, I got a flat tire. While trying to change it, I dropped my phone down a storm drain. I had to hitchhike home, and the guy who picked me up told me he wasn't even sure I wasn't a serial killer. I told him I wasn't. He then said, "That's what a serial killer would say." FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 122

Road to nowhere

By Anonymous - 05/11/2023 06:00 - Canada

Today, I was driving to an important job interview, and I was running late. Just as I was about to get on the highway, I saw my ex standing by the road with a flat tire. I stopped to help because I'm a nice person. Turns out, the spare tire was also flat. We called for a tow truck, and I missed my interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 558

Spare

By Milo - 02/06/2015 16:50 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, one of my tires blew out on the highway. I managed to slow down and pull over without dying, and went to get my spare tire. I found it right where it was supposed to be, knifed to hell and with a taunting note from my psycho ex taped to it. We broke up nearly 3 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 362

You deserved it 3 327

Tired

By Anonymous - 30/03/2023 06:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I left home to go to work, only to find that my car had a flat tyre. No problem, I thought, I'll just change it. That's when I discovered that I'd left my spare tyre at the mechanic's last time I had a flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 609

You deserved it 284

Dude, WTF?

By truckstopworker - 27/04/2017 02:00

Today, while working at my truck stop, I helped a trucker check his tires. He seemed like a pretty nice guy, and we chatted for a bit. After he took off and I walked back inside, I went to clean the shower he was in before. Turns out he took a shit on the floor. His wife had been in there with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 948

You deserved it 359

By YouWish - 25/08/2016 03:57 - United States - Mount Pleasant

Today, on my way to work, I was checking my hair in the semi-reflective window of an office building. I suddenly realized that the guy I had a one-night stand with last week was standing on the other side, looking confused. He now genuinely believes that I am stalking him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 411

You deserved it 1 712

Unmasked

By crushedgal - 30/12/2021 07:59

Today, I found out I have Covid, from a guy who ghosted me last week after sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 155

You deserved it 634

Attraction

By Chelsea - 02/04/2012 17:31 - United States

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 504

You deserved it 38 949

Caught

By Anonanon - 12/07/2011 17:10 - United Kingdom

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been flirting with for months. Immediately after, he gave me the "let's just be friends" speech then left for work, accidentally locking me in his apartment. I had to call his ex-girlfriend to come let me out. She smirked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 940

You deserved it 13 847

Charlie Given 26

Wednesday 7 July 2021 19:18

Luckily he didn't do what you did to him because if it had been me I would have said find another shop to fix it 🤣

phybreawptic 13

Wednesday 7 July 2021 20:37

you two helped each other inflate things. I'd say you're even.

Comments

Abby Gut 25

Wednesday 7 July 2021 18:57

he manifested it

Charlie Given 26

Wednesday 7 July 2021 19:18

Luckily he didn't do what you did to him because if it had been me I would have said find another shop to fix it 🤣

phybreawptic 13

Wednesday 7 July 2021 20:37

you two helped each other inflate things. I'd say you're even.

raven_of_azarath 34

Wednesday 7 July 2021 22:52

He made the whole situation awkward by asking if you remembered him.

Wadlaen 23

Wednesday 7 July 2021 23:25

Well, did you..?

sirrubberduckie 35

Thursday 8 July 2021 6:15

"Yeah, I remember you lasting about 10 seconds, Tiny."

PenguinPal3017 19

Thursday 8 July 2021 7:41

She ghosted him. What reason does she have to be vindictive?

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Embarrassing Awkward Work Miscellaneous Politics Parents Weird Health Poopoo peepee I need your advice Anniversary Animals Cats Weather Kids Love Sex Cute Kittens Intimacy Underwear Gross Music Weddings Religion Stalker Cheating Mental health Transportation Cars

The Top

Today, I was walking down my road in the hill-country of Texas, when I spotted something shiny buried in the dirt. Thinking it could be something interesting, I picked it up, and, after turning it over numerous times in my hand, realized that it was, in fact, an old silver bullet vibrator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 114

You deserved it 1 085

Today, after my girlfriend warned me she has the condition hypersexuality and like a fool I thought I’d landed on my feet, or on my back as it were, do you have any idea how bad sex is when you have it between 5 and 10 times a day for over a year? It’s basically a chore at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 978

You deserved it 709

The Top

Nice try, buddy.

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 255

Today, since my daughter refuses to eat any kind of soup whatsoever, I asked her "What are you gonna do when you’re on a date?" She replied with, "Uh...not order soup?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 216

You deserved it 1 928

What's the worst your friends ever did?

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 91

Today, I discovered that my supervisor has been submitting completed projects to our manager on time for everyone on the team but me. She has been deliberately making it appear as though I am weeks behind on my projects, when in reality I am one of the first ones done every month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 945

You deserved it 2 218

Today, I was protesting for animal rights. On my way home, I accidentally hit a pig with my car. I freaked out and got out to check to see if it was OK. It knocked me over, spraining my wrist, and it pissed all over my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 892

You deserved it 1 918

Today, I got married to the man I love even though my whole family told me not to marry him. He got into a drunken fight at our wedding and is now in jail. He apparently won't be getting out any time soon due to charges I didn't know about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 725

You deserved it 3 284

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Comments