Miscellaneous: Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant....

By rowie1311 - 27/03/2011 18:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 632

You deserved it 31 066

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By Anonymous - 16/07/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, our pregnancy announcement was ruined by my dad who thought it would be funny to grab my boyfriend while yelling, "You got my daughter pregnant, boy! I’m going to kill you!" It wasn’t funny, there was just an awkward silence, and now this precious moment is something I’d rather forget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 185

Thanks, Dad

By not picking up - 20/03/2015 17:50 - Slovenia - Zelimlje

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 493

You deserved it 2 617

By Random - 25/02/2016 22:09 - United States - Tuskegee

Today, my dad walked into my school and joked around saying that he's going to shoot my boyfriend. We all laughed. Except my boyfriend. He was sobbing in a corner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 278

You deserved it 4 528

By Anonymous - 04/01/2014 23:13 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 718

You deserved it 5 703

Happy days

By Anonymous - 08/08/2023 20:00

Today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant and I did not take it well. She had planned to record my happy reaction for Facebook; instead she got video of me bursting into tears, and trying to talk her into an emergency abortion. She sent it to my parents to punish me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 582

You deserved it 1 211

Dream baby dream

By Anonymous - 19/05/2020 23:00

Today, I woke up to my father sobbing his eyes out in the kitchen. Apparently, I screamed, "DON'T TELL THEM I'M PREGNANT!" in my sleep last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 624

You deserved it 341

By Loho - 25/03/2009 02:46 - Canada

Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 896

You deserved it 105 028

Dad joke

By bookworm94 - 27/07/2009 04:10 - United States

Today, my immature dad said that I'm a girl, not a woman, so my witty response was, ''I have a period, so I'm pretty sure that makes me a woman.'' My dad stole my phone and sent a text to everyone in my address book, quoting me. Including the guy I like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 854

You deserved it 16 751

Fight!

By Anonymous - 31/08/2022 06:00

Today, my boyfriend has never gotten along with my dad, but this afternoon during what I thought was a completely normal conversation, he just stood up, yelled he couldn’t take my dad anymore, punched him in the nose, dumped me, and drove away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 230

You deserved it 255

By psychic parents, how do they work? :( - 31/07/2013 22:49 - United States - Effingham

Today, I went to my dad, hoping to confess something to him. He quickly said that if I'd got my girlfriend pregnant, he'd kill me. That's exactly what happened. I had to make up a lie instead about stealing $50 from his wallet once as a kid, which he then demanded I pay back in full. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 708

You deserved it 47 521

Entheatus 13

Sunday 27 March 2011 23:48

Your dad is a moron. FYL.

JockeyGirl 0

Sunday 27 March 2011 23:47

haha wtf

Comments

Angel_of_Death66 0

Monday 28 March 2011 17:29

Sounds like my stepdad...

Angel_of_Death66 0

Monday 28 March 2011 17:31

Sounds like my stepdad...

funkmasternikkin 0

Monday 28 March 2011 17:35

sounds like something my dad would do

BellyDancinCheer 0

Monday 28 March 2011 18:26

hahaa damn that sucks, whatd he do wen you told him it was a joke?

RKD 23

Monday 28 March 2011 18:42

Can you say "DOUCHE BAG" boys and girls? You need to find a smarter Dad, or at least a less reactive one!

piercedpeace 0

Monday 28 March 2011 19:24

sounds abusive.

in_wonderland 1

Monday 28 March 2011 19:39

THANK YOU! how was this not the first thing brought up in response to the OP? your father is abusive..

Charmizzlethrash 0

Monday 28 March 2011 19:51

YDI, fathers don't like the word pregnant.

squoose 0

Monday 28 March 2011 19:52

YDI for not using a condom. :p

alexFYL 11

Monday 28 March 2011 19:54

I think it's because men like to beat each other up for fun. :P

Failmaster_24_7 0

Monday 28 March 2011 20:06

wtf rowan XD haha funny funny times

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The Top

Today, I was forced to go to the mall with my dad. He wore a bear suit the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 236

You deserved it 5 160

Today, I'm staying at my grandparents' house. I went upstairs to grab my sketchbook to show off to my grandma. My grandpa is half-deaf, which I guess explains how he didn't hear me. I heard him though, jerking off and muttering the most disgusting sexual things about "Tara." I'm Tara. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 035

You deserved it 2 239

Today, I returned from my holiday in Cairo and was planning to go straight to bed, seeing as I had landed at 2 a.m. All was going well, until I tried to open my front door and realised that I'd left my keys, my S23+ phone, and my wallet in the cab I took home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 224

Today, I got cut from my track team. My coach told me it was because my sprints were "too fast" for his liking. Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 403

You deserved it 3 868

Today, I confronted my husband over the fact that despite me working two jobs to support us for the last three years, we're nowhere near our goal of buying a house. He actually had the brass balls to defend pissing my money down the drain on his ceramic cat collection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 714

You deserved it 5 964

Today, I had to pick my grandma up because she was drunk, at church, at 9am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 411

You deserved it 2 505