Today, while driving home I saw a few deer running beside me. I stopped to let them go in front. Instead, one face-plants, ramming into the side of my new car. FML

Today, I bought a new car. Twenty-five minutes into driving it home, I hit a deer. FML

Today, I hit a deer with a rental car... which I had to rent because I hit a deer with my car last week. FML

Bastard Bambi busts bumper

Today, I volunteered to go get ice cream if I could use my mother's car. She told me to be VERY careful. Not ten minutes later, I hit a deer, which got up and walked off as though nothing had happened. FML

It wasn't me

Today, on the way to work, I saw a mama bear and two cubs beside the road. The guy in front of me hit and killed one of the cubs and sped off. Mama bear ran out into the road, blocked my path, and must have thought I killed her cub, because she attacked my car and tore the bumper and side panel off. FML

Bad timing

Today, as I was talking to my girlfriend about how I need to find another job to be able to afford school next fall, I hit a deer causing about $3,000 in damages to my car. FML

Today, after recently moving to America as I've always dreamt of, I saw my first, majestic deer. My boyfriend slammed it with the rental car. FML

Slammed

Today, I crashed my car. I saw a deer getting ready to run into the middle of the road, and I was very sleepy, so I panicked and slammed on the brakes, causing me to lose control of the car on the wet road. After I hit a tree, I realized that the deer was a plastic lawn ornament. FML

Two in one

Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML

Nature ain't all that great

Today, an adorable deer got into the yard, so I went to pet it. It jumped on its back legs and started flailing its front legs around, kicking the crap out of me until I curled into a ball crying. I'm so bruised, I can barely sit down. FML