Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML
Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son apparently decided to make a game out of clogging the toilet with toilet paper. He won, and now the whole basement is flooded. FML
Today, my son decided to run around a supermarket in his underwear, leaving me to chase after him. FML
Today, I found out why my bathroom has been smelling so bad. My 10-year-old son has been peeing on the radiator, thinking it's fun to watch it steam and sizzle. FML
Today, my son was playing with a piece of plastic wrapping and trying not to let it fall to the floor as if it were a balloon. This is after he got some kick ass gifts for Christmas. Kids. FML
Today, my 3-year-old broke his glasses, clogged the toilet with Hot Wheel cars, and covered the whole house with Cheerios. All in a matter of roughly six minutes while I was putting laundry away. FML
Today, I walked into the Macy's bathroom to find Santa taking a dump with the door open. Merry Christmas. FML
Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML
Today, I was under the impression that my kids would eventually grow out of wanting to watch me use the bathroom. Instead, my 7 year-old son attempted to pick the lock so he could watch me take a shit and make fun of me for it. FML
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Top comments
noidea_fml 3
hahaha your son is awesome
LMFAO_fail 0
...You didn't HAVE to drink it. Pretty sure he wouldn't be able to tell the difference between down the drain and down your throat. I would never drink juice or especially milk that had been left out for a while. LOL
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Comments (130)
TheLoneWolf87 4
Be glad it wasn't rat poison or cyanide.
Kervik 0
A very cunning child, indeed. Congratulation on raising such a wholly evil genius. Who will he strike next? The Easter Bunny?
Sparkiee93 3
Now what have we learned? You do not steal Santa's juice!
Undertaker13 0
Dude. This story belongs on MLIA.
Youwantwhatnow 0
got to love the ending of this story. well played indeed.
Tigg3r 3
I thought the tradition was cookies and milk?
Asadsackopotatoe 0
give him coal
Laxloverr24 0
why were you drinking santa's milk, bitch? just kiddding! merry Christmas to alllll.
QWERTYCommander 5
I think it's time to tell your son the truth.
celtycthundyr 2
Why would an 8-year-old STILL believe in Santa? Especially if he is such a genius?
BeautifulColours 0
It was to figure out if it was Santa....