Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML
Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son apparently decided to make a game out of clogging the toilet with toilet paper. He won, and now the whole basement is flooded. FML
Today, my son decided to run around a supermarket in his underwear, leaving me to chase after him. FML
Today, I found out why my bathroom has been smelling so bad. My 10-year-old son has been peeing on the radiator, thinking it's fun to watch it steam and sizzle. FML
Today, my son was playing with a piece of plastic wrapping and trying not to let it fall to the floor as if it were a balloon. This is after he got some kick ass gifts for Christmas. Kids. FML
Today, my 3-year-old broke his glasses, clogged the toilet with Hot Wheel cars, and covered the whole house with Cheerios. All in a matter of roughly six minutes while I was putting laundry away. FML
Today, I walked into the Macy's bathroom to find Santa taking a dump with the door open. Merry Christmas. FML
Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML
Today, I was under the impression that my kids would eventually grow out of wanting to watch me use the bathroom. Instead, my 7 year-old son attempted to pick the lock so he could watch me take a shit and make fun of me for it. FML
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Top comments
noidea_fml 3
hahaha your son is awesome
LMFAO_fail 0
...You didn't HAVE to drink it. Pretty sure he wouldn't be able to tell the difference between down the drain and down your throat. I would never drink juice or especially milk that had been left out for a while. LOL
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Comments (130)
foxtrot_uniform 0
LOL! i found out that santa wasn't real when one year, i got heaps of amazing expensive presents from 'santa', but none from my parents.......
Omnigeek6 1
Well, the next year just give him coal. It's that simple.
Ilurveunderoath 0
lollollollol i feel kinda bad but this is hilarious!
widlis08 0
who leaves juice out for Santa? it's milk
JokingJoe 0
The score- son: 1 you: deuce
DITyler 0
Why has this kid got access to that kinda stuff? YDI.
blastvortex 4
Well, you could've broken it to him one way or another. It looks like you did it the hard way. It also means that your son is the smarter one.
taoKAKA 0
Your son is a possible genius. Growing up I always asked Santa for proof that he existed, like a piece of the reindeer's old harness or a piece of spare fabric from Mrs. Clause when she made his outfit. I got them every year. Then two days after Christmas one year my father asked me to go get him socks cuz he was late for work. There was a Santa hat in with his socks with a square piece of cloth cut out. That's how I learned that Santa didn't exist...
jerylann 0
im guessing he knows youre santa now.. your kid sounds like hes preeey baddass
colt45_fml 0
That's one smart frikken kid!!! ROFL........ well played indeed