Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML
Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son apparently decided to make a game out of clogging the toilet with toilet paper. He won, and now the whole basement is flooded. FML
Today, my son decided to run around a supermarket in his underwear, leaving me to chase after him. FML
Today, I found out why my bathroom has been smelling so bad. My 10-year-old son has been peeing on the radiator, thinking it's fun to watch it steam and sizzle. FML
Today, my son was playing with a piece of plastic wrapping and trying not to let it fall to the floor as if it were a balloon. This is after he got some kick ass gifts for Christmas. Kids. FML
Today, my 3-year-old broke his glasses, clogged the toilet with Hot Wheel cars, and covered the whole house with Cheerios. All in a matter of roughly six minutes while I was putting laundry away. FML
Today, I walked into the Macy's bathroom to find Santa taking a dump with the door open. Merry Christmas. FML
Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML
Today, I was under the impression that my kids would eventually grow out of wanting to watch me use the bathroom. Instead, my 7 year-old son attempted to pick the lock so he could watch me take a shit and make fun of me for it. FML
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Top comments
noidea_fml 3
hahaha your son is awesome
LMFAO_fail 0
...You didn't HAVE to drink it. Pretty sure he wouldn't be able to tell the difference between down the drain and down your throat. I would never drink juice or especially milk that had been left out for a while. LOL
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Comments (130)
Person1233 13
2 MLIA cliches on FML, in one day? XD!
Person1233 13
... Uh, what?
lara522 0
wow. does your son want presents or not?
lostfaithinpppl 19
YDI for either drinking Santa's juice or raising an idiot child. Either way you deserve it.
Tigg3r 3
how is the child an idiot? He put laxatives into Santa's drink so Santa could stay so he could probably open up all the present meant for other little boys and girls. Yes I know Santa isn't real...
flashback.miss 28
santa is real, silly... hmmm hard to combine santa with a great prank. man, you got owned by an alex wanna-be.....
summer99 0
wow..that is definitely one smart 8 year old! you should be proud...he's definitely ahead of the game!
uguysareidiots 0
Has anyone else noticed the latest FML's have cliches at the end, like MLIA? gaaayyyy
TheTragicReturn 0
I noticed it right away, but I don't think it has a sexuality.
Squander 3
It's kinda strange that a kid would do that you know, ambush Santa like that. He's just chillin' in his sleigh, next thing you know, he's got the runs, and the McEarcherns down the street get a little surprise in their toilet the next day in addition to the surprises under the tree.
sexpanther10 0
woow that is awsome LMFA
I_am_stupid_also 6
YDI for perpetuating the ridiculous Santa Claus myth.
jennay8288 1
seriously man. santa loves bud light.
muffinsareyummy 1
i hope someday my kids are as epic as yours, sir.