Today, I had to tell my ex that I'm pregnant with his baby. I sent him a casual "Hey :)" text to try to ease into things. He replied, "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?" and ended up threatening to make my life hell if I don't tell my new boyfriend that the child is his. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I called my ex and told him I was pregnant with his child. He was thrilled, going on and on about how much he wanted to be a dad. I had to tell him I was going to abort it. FML
Today, my ex messaged me, saying he got his new girlfriend pregnant and that he thinks I have something to do with it. He thinks I put it in her head that they should have a kid together, when he says he didn't want any in the first place. FML
Today, I texted my boyfriend, saying, "Hi." His response was, "I got your best friend pregnant." FML
Today, my ex dumped me for his ex who'd cheated on him. Today, I also found out I'm pregnant. When I told him he said, "I’m really happy for you. I hope it all works out." FML
Today, my boyfriend’s ex found out I was pregnant. Her logical response was to have her teenage sons jump him as he was coming home from work. Now we’re filling out a police report instead of our baby registry. FML
Today, I called my ex boyfriend to tell him that not only am I still in love with him, I'm also three months pregnant with his child. Upon hearing the news, he swore, called me a pathetic liar, swore some more, and hung up on me. FML
Today, I turned down my boyfriend's proposal because I'm pregnant and I told him I didn't want people thinking that's why we were getting married. He… did not react well. Yes, he knows that I'm pregnant. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that I'm pregnant. He instantly replied "Bullshit!", then hung up and apparently skipped town. FML
Today, I got a message from a woman. It was my boyfriend of five years' ex-girlfriend, telling me that she’s pregnant with his baby and that they’ve been together for a year. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that my ex is pregnant, but not to worry because it’s not mine. That’s how I inadvertently told her I’ve been cheating on her with my ex. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
DNA test, and child support. If he doesn't want to take responsibility for his child, force him.
PrimeEvilTahir 24
F her life? No, F the life of the poor soul she's bringing into this world. People really need to start thinking straight before getting into sex. Lives seriously depend on it!
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Comments (122)
foxwasalamb 24
commence the multiple posts of pro-abortion and religious groups n so forth..
tehdarkness 21
Yup, YDI. It's easy to avoid pregnancy if you're serious about it.
Witchylady 18
Kick your ex boyfriend where it hurts the most. Don't let that loser intimidate you. Make him take responsibility for the child you share together. And while you are at it make his life a living hell. Good luck with your new boyfriend.
cupidlove623 8
just agree to that and than take his ass to court for child support
daemonsparta 16
damn how did you break up? did yoy crush him or something?
Lucy1011 0
Wow... maybe its a good thing that he doesn't want to be around, who would want their kid to grow up with someone like that?
mcsammo11 12
you should tell you're new boyfriend that the baby isn't his
Unlucky1232 20
sue for child support, force him to get a DNA test, then ask for a restraining order and present the text as evidence of him threatening you. the baby doesn't deserve a father like that SOB.
OrokuSaki 7
You're first mistake was...... Why would you text him and hope to tell him you are preggo and he's the daddy. It'll be much easier if you had a one on one conversation in person. If a chick tries to text me she is Preggo and I'm the daddy. I would rely with the Who The Hell Is this.