Today, my boyfriend’s ex found out I was pregnant. Her logical response was to have her teenage sons jump him as he was coming home from work. Now we’re filling out a police report instead of our baby registry. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to tell my ex that I'm pregnant with his baby. I sent him a casual "Hey :)" text to try to ease into things. He replied, "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?" and ended up threatening to make my life hell if I don't tell my new boyfriend that the child is his. FML
Today, my boyfriend's mother found out that I'm three months pregnant. She told my boyfriend to put it up for adoption, and now wants a paternity test. FML
Today, I found out the girl my boyfriend was seeing just before me is pregnant. FML
Today, after my boyfriend ghosted me when he learned I was pregnant, I stormed to his house to tell his wife about us to get back at him. Turns out he gave me a fake address, because the cops were called on me after I screamed at some random woman who lived there. FML
Today, I confronted my boyfriend’s bitch of an ex about why she won’t let him see their kids. She laughed hysterically then showed me screenshots of all the times she offered to drop them off and the excuses he made. An hour later, she dropped three kids at our door and stopped answering her phone. FML
Today, after a necessary medical procedure that rendered my birth control ineffective, I found out I’m pregnant. I was already planning to break up with my manchild boyfriend, and when I told him this, his first response was, “What will my parents think?” Parents with whom he still lives at age 30. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that I'm pregnant. He instantly replied "Bullshit!", then hung up and apparently skipped town. FML
Today, I got a message from a woman. It was my boyfriend of five years' ex-girlfriend, telling me that she’s pregnant with his baby and that they’ve been together for a year. FML
Today, I found out a 6-month pregnant woman is claiming my boyfriend to be the father. Even though this would have been previous to our relationship, he already has two kids from getting girls pregnant in high school. I guess he didn't learn his lesson the first two times. FML
Today, my ex dumped me for his ex who'd cheated on him. Today, I also found out I'm pregnant. When I told him he said, "I’m really happy for you. I hope it all works out." FML
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Top comments
lifeis4me 20
You’ll be welcoming a kid into the world while she’ll be kissing her kids goodbye
bloopaloop 27
Was he still married and were they also his kids?
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Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
You mean getting a beating and then having to fill out a police report got him out of filling out a baby registry? I'll bet he thinks it was worth it!
lifeis4me 20
You’ll be welcoming a kid into the world while she’ll be kissing her kids goodbye
bloopaloop 27
Was he still married and were they also his kids?