By Amrit - 3/4/2021 01:01 - United Kingdom

Eastenders

Today, I found out that a few years ago, when I lost my kids to my ex-wife, it was because my current wife secretly hated having to be their stepmom, so she conspired with my ex to ruin the custody hearing in my ex's favour. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1661

You deserved it

137

Tweet

Share

Triage

Serious times

Big Baby

By Anonymous - 29/12/2020 20:02 - United States

Diaspora

Today, I found out the guy i've been crushing on might be my cousin. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

753

You deserved it

169

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - London

Today, I went to the airport to pick up my long distance boyfriend. Having waited six months for this, I was stoked. After waiting for three hours and sending numerous messages, I was eventually informed I was a week early. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24746

You deserved it

14223

Tweet

Share

By Bliggins - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, someone very close to me came out of the closet. Normally I would fully support them, had we not just gotten married. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44867

You deserved it

2941

Tweet

Share

By danrocketman - United States

Today, I got a job in my university library. My job title is technical services. My actual job is pulling off the book label for the scanner and putting a new one on. For six hours a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24884

You deserved it

4605

Tweet

Share

By Soresack - United States

Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42520

You deserved it

3175

Tweet

Share

By well fuck!

Today, I was grocery shopping with my kids. As I was buckling them into their car seats, two men jumped out of a truck, hoisted my cart and sped off. According to security, this has become a regular occurrence at the store. My entire month of groceries gone in seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2088

You deserved it

118

Tweet

Share

By max - United States

Today, I thought I was going on a date. About 20 minutes into it, after giving her my arm to hold (like a true gentleman) it came up in conversation that my brother is gay. Her response: "oh, so both you and your brother are gay?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

40316

You deserved it

2920

Tweet

Share

By snowbum69 - United States - Meridian

Today, I went skiing with a girl I like. On the lift I asked her out. She said no. Halfway up the lift stopped. We were stuck up there for nearly an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53324

You deserved it

5816

Tweet

Share

By Wronged - Singapore

Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because she found a bra in my cupboard. It was hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45430

You deserved it

3558

Tweet

Share

By rogerusmc23 - Japan

Today, while all the other marines got to fly around the island on a helicopter, I got stuck on gear guard. What was I guarding? The staff sergeant's parking spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38173

You deserved it

4587

Tweet

Share

By Angus - France

Today, my son had a secret party. At first I was mad, then I had a complete and total Incredible Hulk meltdown when I realized that he had opened a bottle of very expensive whisky, originally bottled by my great great grandfather in Scotland, and used it as a mixer with fucking Pepsi. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37844

You deserved it

2642

Tweet

Share

By birthday girl - United States - Toledo

Today, it's my birthday. The only thing I received was a bill for a piss test I took earlier this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41804

You deserved it

4155

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I start work in an office, with my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29475

You deserved it

12653

Tweet

Share

By hcditfi5foygy

Today, my crush confessed their love for me, and I happily told them that I felt the same way. They looked uncomfortable, so I asked why. Apparently they'd been paid to prank me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4375

You deserved it

254

Tweet

Share

By NewlyDread - Canada - Toronto

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

I agree, your life sucks

40256

You deserved it

7385

Tweet

Share

By neoteck - France

Today, I was talking to a charming young lady on MSN by webcam. She suddenly asked me to take my glasses off for a minute; I did so, and she said, "Oh never mind, you're still just as ugly..." FML

I agree, your life sucks

26027

You deserved it

2538

Tweet

Share

By Anne - United States

Today, I spoke to my ex again for the first time after our breakup. The first words out of his mouth were, "I love you, so I'm going to have to confess some things in the hopes that my honesty will help us get back together." It didn't, but it does mean I have to get tested now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33750

You deserved it

3227

Tweet

Share

By WhataStrangeTripThisIs - 23/12/2020 22:58

Slow

Today, my fiancé told me he loved me just the way I am. But admitted he wished he had met me before my head injury that made me "slow." FML

I agree, your life sucks

935

You deserved it

78

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went upstairs to scold my boys for running in the house because someone could get hurt. As I turned around to come back downstairs I tripped and fell all the way down to the landing at the bottom. I could hear them laughing in their rooms. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32136

You deserved it

7939

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 11/3/2021 00:30

Don't be an asshole

Today, the only person I know that ever traveled with me told me he doesn't enjoy the experience and thinks I'm an asshole, so I don't have a travel buddy any more. Every affordable trip requires two people. FML

I agree, your life sucks

338

You deserved it

989

Tweet

Share

By wowthanks - United States - Baldwin Park

Today, I was asked out by a friend of mine. He's a doctor and works at a prestigious hospital, so thinking we would eat somewhere special, I got all dressed up. We ended up eating at his hospital's cafeteria, because he gets a small employee discount. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36628

You deserved it

7870

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Lake Forest

Today, I showed my daughter video footage from a security camera that showed her using her employee key to enter the store I own, disarming the alarm, and stealing several very valuable items. Her defense? That someone had "photoshopped" the video. We'll see how that goes down in court. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31164

You deserved it

2875

Tweet

Share

By FractalSanity - Canada

Today, my best friend was crying because her boyfriend is a retard. I brought my thumb up to wipe a tear off her face, and somehow stuck it up her nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26552

You deserved it

11402

Tweet

Share

By firstandlastjob - 13/6/2020 14:11

Make it stop

Today, at work I had to listen to a group of old men talk about double penetration. I work at a coffee shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1690

You deserved it

185

Tweet

Share

By Petridishoflove - Hong Kong

Today, I put my paint brush into my cup of tea. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10520

You deserved it

22815

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML

I agree, your life sucks

33626

You deserved it

2361

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that I have testicular cancer for the second time in two years, and they may end up removing my last testicle. Knowing full well I was also born with an extra rib, the doctor at the consultation joked, "Hey, you'll be three quarters of the way to being a woman." FML

I agree, your life sucks

45104

You deserved it

2681

Tweet

Share

By comfort_ - United States - Dalton

Today, I managed to take an entire shower without realizing my socks were on. I washed my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25475

You deserved it

10110

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 7/4/2021 01:58 - United States

Evil eye doctor

Today, my step-son broke his glasses. Our doctor said he would no longer see us because my step-son is transgender, and a new law in our state allows him to do this. Apparently, it was foolish to be honest on medical forms. Finals are in a month but we have to find a new doctor before he can even study. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1486

You deserved it

359

Tweet

Share

By icarlymom - United States

Today, my 18 year old daughter comes home telling me she has been fired from her job at McDonalds. The reason? They had ICarly happy meal toys and she couldn't resist stealing one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31511

You deserved it

5372

Tweet

Share

By nightxxtime

Today, a guy I'm dating was supposed to come over. He would have if I haven't fell asleep while he was waiting for me to open the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5776

You deserved it

3382

Tweet

Share

By nosleep - Australia

Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30093

You deserved it

6947

Tweet

Share

By ccat209 - United States - Riverton

Today, my parents finally realized that I've been sneaking vodka when they weren't home. Note to self: don't let them freeze vodka that's actually 75% water. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3652

You deserved it

8922

Tweet

Share

By sadgirl - United States - Conway

Today, my grandpa pointed me out to one of his friends, saying, "Yeah, she's the ugly one." FML

I agree, your life sucks

51232

You deserved it

4360

Tweet

Share

By Leo_RxXx - United States

Today, I was getting off of work, talking to my boss and I asked if I could get a ride home, since my usual ride was too lazy to come get me. He said, sure, but to be really careful since he just had his car detailed. I was getting in the car, tripped and threw my hot cocoa all inside of his car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48053

You deserved it

21477

Tweet

Share

By Eleanor - United States - North Grafton

Today, my freshman students got in a fist fight over a chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1559

You deserved it

125

Tweet

Share

By Anne - United States

Today, I returned home from college for the first time in a month. I went to my bedroom and found a nice gift bag on my dresser. Thinking it was a Valentine's gift, I opened it. My dog's ashes were in a tin inside. This is how I found out my dog died since I was away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51312

You deserved it

2356

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I introduced my Chinese-born girlfriend to the rest of the family. My uncle immediately blurted out, "He's dating a communist." FML

I agree, your life sucks

38575

You deserved it

4746

Tweet

Share

By i fuckin love habaneros - United States - Charlottesville

Today, I'm so deprived of female attention that I got a hard-on when a nurse told me I have beautiful veins. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17696

You deserved it

2354

Tweet

Share

By Nohouseforme - United States - Tempe

Today, I was house-hunting online. I was becoming increasingly discouraged and began to look for mini-houses in absurd desperation. I noticed the Google sidebar advertising a cute mini house within my budget. Excited, I clicked on the ad - only to discover it was an ad for a child's playhouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11441

You deserved it

1437

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Plop | 9

#7983385 - Saturday 3 April 2021 2:14

I think you misspelled "soon to be 2nd ex-wife".

By cuz803 | 39

#7983388 - Saturday 3 April 2021 3:15

That better be ex-wife soon.

COMMENTS

By Plop | 9

#7983385 - Saturday 3 April 2021 2:14

I think you misspelled "soon to be 2nd ex-wife".

By cuz803 | 39

#7983388 - Saturday 3 April 2021 3:15

That better be ex-wife soon.

By bleachedraven | 11

#7983392 - Saturday 3 April 2021 5:34

Lawyer up, for custody and divorce. obviously family is priority over someone so hateful and deceitful. So sorry, chin up!

By Lydmyers | 8

#7983483 - Saturday 3 April 2021 16:33

you mean your current but soon to be ex wife? that's unforgivable.

By Lucyferia Michelle | 6

#7983535 - Saturday 3 April 2021 20:13

should've taken that b**** on steve wilkos show. expose her in front of everyone.

By alex_jaguara | 29

#7983547 - Saturday 3 April 2021 20:45

Sounds like she is just using you if she doesn't accept your kids.