By DocKreso - 28/06/2013 21:59 - Croatia - Split

Today, I had to remove a glass bottle, complete with an ineffective pullstring, from a patient's rectum. He claimed that he'd accidentally sat on it, and later threatened to sue me for every penny if I breathed a word of it to anyone. Oops, looks like I just did. FML
I agree, your life sucks 55 874
You deserved it 6 384

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Hopefully said patient doesn't read this website! Otherwise, good luck being poor!

There's no hipaa violation if you didn't mention his name. Hahahaha!!!


Hopefully said patient doesn't read this website! Otherwise, good luck being poor!

MzZombicidal 36

His new catchphrase should be "kiss my glass!"

I'm pretty sure he can't sue anyway. maybe if op used his real name, but they didn't.

easyprey 8

If he even tried to sue he would have to get the foot of every FML commenter removed from his rectum. We stand up for each other!


Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

65- he did not technically break confidentiality because he did not use a name or any other identifying piece of information

66 how many guys had bottles removed from their ass in Croatia today do you think there was?

If the guy doesn't want it known that he had a bottle up his ass, why would he take it to court where a good number of people would find out?

This doctor didn't use the patients name or any other identifying, no, the patient can't sue...well...I suppose he could TRY to sue...but since the doctor used no identifying information...prove it's him that the doctor is talking about!

89- because money sometimes takes priority over dignity (not that there is much left).

The doctor didn't use any identifying information. If you can tell me who out of the 4 Billion people on the planet it was (I know there are 8-9 Billion, but only half are male) ill be really impressed. I work in the medical field in the US, and talk about stuff all the time. As people know who I am and where I work, it would be easier to ID the patient. But I'm fine as I don't use a name or room number.

DocBastard talks about his patients all the time on his blog, it's safe because he does not use any real names. This post could easily be thrown out in any court.

thatoneguy79 10

This post has less information than a newspaper article about the latest shooting in the nearest major city. The only thing violated here is the patients arse, which he did himself. And my mental imaging device for having pictured this.

65, there was no confidentiality being broken. OP did not use any personal information of the patients name. As long as OP kept the privacy of the patient to himself, the patient would lose in a lawsuit. Look at DocBastard's blog and you might learn something.

Sinistra_Blue 12

Gotta love HIPPA. Makes you able to post all kinds of interesting stories, as long as there is no personally identifiable info.

there is no case here. He will not get in any trouble no matter what.

Well..... Actually it is illegal to share the information

MzZombicidal 36

#153, as many of the other comments can inform you: No. No, it isn't.

cryssycakesx3 22

docbastard said hippa is only an issue in the states. not sure how true it is.

There's no hipaa violation if you didn't mention his name. Hahahaha!!!

Druu 53

OP is also from Croatia, so HIPAA doesn't apply. (Not sure what Croatia's patient privacy laws are.)

monnanon 13

hippocratic oath is universal laws for docs that might include confidentiality. im not sure im not a doc. i think HIPPA and the medical codes in other countries must stem from that.

Druu 53

@82 HIPAA is the source of patient privacy lawsuits in the US. The Hippocratic Oath by itself is not legally actionable.

monnanon 13

no its not its an ethics code but it is the basic of the things that are laws.

Op. you will be hearing from my lawyer. Should have listened to my warning.

Wouldn't it be creepy if it was that guy ^^

I checked to see if he was from Croatia.

Excellent, I'm not alone then. I too checked.

I should have changed my location to Croatia. To late.

easyprey 8

Up in Canada we don't have the penny anymore so let him have them all.

perdix 29

Doc already has a picture of that.

Perdix is confused, that's a completely unrelated glass bottle up a rectum... You're good Doc

My comment failed an unable to edit it in time... Oh well

I immediatly thought of that as soon as I read this! xD

Haha, DocBastard, I immediately checked the username because I suspected it might be you. People, if you are going to put things in your rectum, make sure they are things like butt plugs with a nice FLARED BASE. Then you can't lose it up there. For the love of Pete don't put glass things up there.

sad how this seems to be a common problem.

As Doc often says, it's too bad there is no cure for stupidity.

What ever happened to doctor patient confidentiality?

perdix 29

#15, also it's a US law, so Croatian doctors are not bound by it. As far as we know, the OP could post the patient's picture and e-mail address.

monnanon 13

if HIPPA is to do with the hippocratic oath then the law of confidentiality is a universal one.

acerredrum 23

There is not a single law that is universal. Every country has its own laws and regulations for everything including medical treatment. There are countries where most doctors probably haven't even heard of the Hippocratic oath.

monnanon 13

all doctors have to take that oath. its is the doctors code of ethics. the only docs that wont are witch doctors. what i meant by a universal law is one that is a law in every country which i think this is. also since Croatia is an EU country they WILL have both the hippocratic oath and doctor patient confidentiality.

CharresBarkrey 15

HIPAA is the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act. It is a US law. The Hippocratic Oath is of Greek origin and is used for doctors around the world. Two different things.

monnanon 13

then HIPPA will not apply in Croatia but confidentiality clauses do.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
dmattimeoj 12

you must be extremely perceptive to be able to read through the lines of that post so deeply that you figured out who the patient was...

dmattimeoj 12

...and yes, i got the pun, but your point seemed serious as well.

sammieshortcake 15

^You're dumb. The comment was obviously a pun and nothing more.

glamorous18 10

I'd do the same thing, man. FYL!!

challan 19

We remove items from mens rectums at least twice a week in the hospital. Every man says they accidentally sat on it while naked.

Your comment reminds me of an episode in Seinfeld; "every proctologist story ends the same way: it was a million to one shot, doc, million to one".

Epikouros 31

Well, I was going to sit on a beer crate, and I accidentally put one empty bottle on top of another.