Today, I had to have a word with my boss about how him coming into work drunk is probably not a very good idea. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boss mistakenly drunk-texted me and was talking shit about me. FML
Today, I learned a co-worker called and awoke my boss at 3 a.m. to complain that I'd been "rude" to him. All I'd done was make a disapproving face because he'd been drinking and he was slobbering drunk, and wanted to charge his purchase to his employee account, a definite no-no when not on the clock. FML
Today, I overheard my boss talking about me on the phone. Turns out he was drunk off his ass when he gave the go-ahead to hire me, and he's now searching for any excuse to legally fire me. FML
Today, for the first time, I decided to just be myself at work. My boss thought I was drunk. FML
Today, while we were at a work party, I noticed a drunk lady in the mix. I pointed out to my boss how dumb she looked. It was his daughter. FML
Today, after sitting for hours at my desk, my legs fell asleep. When I got up to go to the bathroom on my break, I couldn't walk properly and leaned against things so I wouldn't fall over. My supervisor then came over and started lecturing me about being drunk at work. FML
Today, after drinking myself to an oblivion, I awoke with a massive hangover. I didn’t want to go to work, but every excuse I came up with in my head screamed of alcoholics. When I arrived, my boss asked me why I was there. It was my day off. FML
Today, my boss fired me because of my drinking problem. The reason he thinks I have a drinking problem? I was in a play he saw, in which I played a drunk person. I've been completely sober my whole life. FML
Today, I got in a car accident on the way to work. I received an abusive phone call from my boss saying he shouldn't have to cover my lazy ass. I was driving to cover his shift because he was too drunk to show up to work. FML
Today, my boss lectured me on the evils of alcohol and how it was 'prohibited' during the 1980s. I said nothing because he hates being corrected. FML
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Top comments
jezane 9
Ask for a raise - every hour
Insane_Tea 15
OP's Boss: "Hey! Who do you think wears the big boy pants around here?!" OP: "But sir, your not wearing any pants..."
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Comments (59)
goodgood_fml 5
Wow. Reminds me when I was 11th grade. I pulled my teacher to the side and told him that I overheard other teachers commenting about those 'hickies' on his face & neck. He fixed it ASAP. Hope your boss fixes his issues as well and not hate you or term you for bringing a concern to him in private.
Calyx_fml 22
What's wrong with hickies? Teachers gotta get some too
BrotherTheo 31
If you did it with tact it could actually go very well with you down the line. Good luck.
iggz 0
Well, hey, Mr Party Pooper.
PYLrulz 17
My bosses are drunk too... Usually drunk on power -_-
Insane_Tea 15
OP's Boss: "Hey! Who do you think wears the big boy pants around here?!" OP: "But sir, your not wearing any pants..."
loserman67 36
Life is all about timing and you my friend missed the perfect time to ask for a raise, a promotion, a promotion and a raise, an extra weeks vacation, a company car, shortened work hours. Next time you are given a little present like the boss coming in drunk, use it to your full advantage.
Boomshacalaca 5
If you can't beat um you might aswel join them !
perdix 31
This gives you an excuse to have a few cocktails while you work. You'll have some good dirt to blackmail your boss with. You'll know what would the perfect Christmas/birthday gift for him would be. Trying to be your boss's mommy may be a worse idea.
loserman67 36
#29 - right on the spot! Trying to be your bosses "mommy" or "guardian" or whatever can blow up in your face!
brittybean 2
Report him to his boss.
Wolvander88 19
Ah.. Just like back in good ol' Don Draper's day. :)