Today, I had to go to the police station after my son got arrested for shoplifting 15 packs of gum. He got away with it at first, but got busted when he tried to return it all because he "didn't like the flavor". FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year-old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML
Today, I caught a customer using his fat to shoplift gum out of a store. FML
Today my boss went digging through my drawer, took a pack of gum, and told me I got him the wrong flavor. He kept it anyway. FML
Today, my son is an idiot, but I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt by giving him a job as a cashier in one of my stores. Within half an hour, I was sent security footage from that store's manager showing my son on his phone, ignoring customers, picking his nose, and stealing money from the till. FML
Today, I got caught stealing lollies. I am 25. FML
Today, I got stopped for shoplifting at a department store. They took me back to the security room and showed me the tapes. I was taking my own designer lipgloss that I had bought a month before out of my purse. FML
Today, at the grocery store, the cops grabbed, cuffed, and hauled me to the station after the clerk called on me. I was with my 11 year-old niece, and she secretly tried to buy a pregnancy test. Despite saying it was for her aunt (my wife) who asked her to buy it for her without me knowing, they didn't believe her. FML
Today, I had to go down to the county police department to bail out my kids who thought it would be a good idea to try mugging an ice cream truck driver. FML
Today, I had to chase down and tackle a boy (around 11 or 12) at my workplace after I caught him snatching someone's wallet and trying to quickly sneak out with it. Now everyone thinks I have something against children, even after I returned the stranger's wallet and explained that the little brat is a thief. FML
Today, I went to the store, but after I'd selected my items, I saw that I'd forgotten my wallet. When I tried to explain to the cashier, he thought that I was trying to steal and called the cops. My roommate had to come to the store to save me. FML
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Top comments
murphy30011 7
Your son is an idiot
Adam5858 17
Extra punishment for being such a fool
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Comments (112)
blackspace 4
It is good boy!
kotake 7
Yeah the son's stupid but at least he doesn't frivolously waste. Don't teach him that cheating/stealing is okay as long as you don't get caught, teach him it's wrong to begin with.
ialexi13 6
he could of just steal more...
DocBastard 40
My Idiot-English Translation Engine has been sitting idly for too long, so I feel the need to use it here. *whirr* *bzzz* *click* *DING!* "He could have just stolen more. I probably shouldn't inhale nail polish remover just before commenting." Much better.
buckdharma 38
I wanna lift some cinnamon gum I could be happy the rest of my life with some cinnamon gum
Mauskau 36
So did he try and return it for money, or did he just stick them back on the shelf?
MrCafe 9
Your son deserves Nobel Prize in stupidity!
blondeambition1 4
My sister's friend once got caught shoplifting underarm deodorant. As punishment, all she got for gifts (birthday, Christmas, etc) was deodorant.
annunaki_fml 11
jesus on the cross,w-t-f?
ZoroMiHawk 25
on the bright side, your son has no future in criminal activities....on the dark side, your son doesn't seem to have any future in any career where you need to use your brains either.
ZombehOriheme 3
.... leave him in jail. that's what id do