Today, I had to go to the police station after my son got arrested for shoplifting 15 packs of gum. He got away with it at first, but got busted when he tried to return it all because he "didn't like the flavor". FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year-old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML
Today, I caught a customer using his fat to shoplift gum out of a store. FML
Today my boss went digging through my drawer, took a pack of gum, and told me I got him the wrong flavor. He kept it anyway. FML
Today, my son is an idiot, but I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt by giving him a job as a cashier in one of my stores. Within half an hour, I was sent security footage from that store's manager showing my son on his phone, ignoring customers, picking his nose, and stealing money from the till. FML
Today, I got caught stealing lollies. I am 25. FML
Today, I got stopped for shoplifting at a department store. They took me back to the security room and showed me the tapes. I was taking my own designer lipgloss that I had bought a month before out of my purse. FML
Today, at the grocery store, the cops grabbed, cuffed, and hauled me to the station after the clerk called on me. I was with my 11 year-old niece, and she secretly tried to buy a pregnancy test. Despite saying it was for her aunt (my wife) who asked her to buy it for her without me knowing, they didn't believe her. FML
Today, I had to go down to the county police department to bail out my kids who thought it would be a good idea to try mugging an ice cream truck driver. FML
Today, I had to chase down and tackle a boy (around 11 or 12) at my workplace after I caught him snatching someone's wallet and trying to quickly sneak out with it. Now everyone thinks I have something against children, even after I returned the stranger's wallet and explained that the little brat is a thief. FML
Today, I went to the store, but after I'd selected my items, I saw that I'd forgotten my wallet. When I tried to explain to the cashier, he thought that I was trying to steal and called the cops. My roommate had to come to the store to save me. FML
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Top comments
murphy30011 7
Your son is an idiot
Adam5858 17
Extra punishment for being such a fool
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Comments (112)
birdybirdchirp 18
Well you know what they say kids follow their parents example more then their advice..So good job on your part.
DARKDAY07 16
dude some do what they want whether or not their parents set a good example or a bad example
Lil_Red777 21
Bullshit. Most kids do what the Hell they want when they reach a certain age. Has nothing to do with parenting half the time.
Soundslikeothers 15
What an idiot! if you're gonna steal something, steal something you know you're gonna like.
Wakachulak 22
YDI for not teaching your son how to steal properly.
wvcheesehead 13
Well lets hope he learned his lesson, we would not want him to steal a car from the lot and attempt to return it for a different color.
worldclassrager 41
If he tried to steal it he should know what he likes...but returning it I feel like saying it came to him but he should learn how to shoplift properly
therealjc_fml 14
Just blame that on the other half that created him:)
Marielle_T 10
Thinking...not his strong suit huh? I hope he will at least from his mistake.
mottos 13
He must be your pride and joy.
teentee401 37
Look at OP's username...
Sathane 21
So, is it "FML my son is a criminal" or "FML my son is a stupid criminal"?
91hayek 31
I think it's just that his son is stupid. Being a criminal was just incidental.