Today, I had to go to the police station after my son got arrested for shoplifting 15 packs of gum. He got away with it at first, but got busted when he tried to return it all because he "didn't like the flavor". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year-old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML
Today, I caught a customer using his fat to shoplift gum out of a store. FML
Today my boss went digging through my drawer, took a pack of gum, and told me I got him the wrong flavor. He kept it anyway. FML
Today, my son is an idiot, but I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt by giving him a job as a cashier in one of my stores. Within half an hour, I was sent security footage from that store's manager showing my son on his phone, ignoring customers, picking his nose, and stealing money from the till. FML
Today, I got caught stealing lollies. I am 25. FML
Today, I got stopped for shoplifting at a department store. They took me back to the security room and showed me the tapes. I was taking my own designer lipgloss that I had bought a month before out of my purse. FML
Today, at the grocery store, the cops grabbed, cuffed, and hauled me to the station after the clerk called on me. I was with my 11 year-old niece, and she secretly tried to buy a pregnancy test. Despite saying it was for her aunt (my wife) who asked her to buy it for her without me knowing, they didn't believe her. FML
Today, I had to go down to the county police department to bail out my kids who thought it would be a good idea to try mugging an ice cream truck driver. FML
Today, I had to chase down and tackle a boy (around 11 or 12) at my workplace after I caught him snatching someone's wallet and trying to quickly sneak out with it. Now everyone thinks I have something against children, even after I returned the stranger's wallet and explained that the little brat is a thief. FML
Today, I went to the store, but after I'd selected my items, I saw that I'd forgotten my wallet. When I tried to explain to the cashier, he thought that I was trying to steal and called the cops. My roommate had to come to the store to save me. FML
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Top comments
murphy30011 7
Your son is an idiot
Adam5858 17
Extra punishment for being such a fool
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Comments (112)
SleepingDogs_fml 8
ALL THE PUNS!!!!!!!
MrSweeps 5
Teach your son to not be a shitty thief. He brings great shame to the profession
HockeyPlayaX 6
Sorry that I said u deserved it. It was worth it because it made me the 7001st person to say it.
HeManPc 5
Your son's IQ level must be 5.
ThatOneTimeLord 25
If your going to rob, do it right.
catmom93 4
He was probably trying to fet the money for it to spend on something else...
TechnoStew 21
I would have sold it at school, or at least just thrown it away.
Ipsum629 13
your son is a special kind of stupid isn't he?
kelba 10
If it was strawberry I understand your sons predicament strawberry gum is the worst