kinky
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Nik
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States 🌶️ Spicy
You wanker!
Today, I went to the doctor because I broke my wrist. My mom told the nurse that I broke it while masturbating. FML
Anonymous
Get some rest
Today, I dislocated my shoulder doing a really big stretch when I woke up. After the doctor relocated it, my dad told me I still had to do my chores. No excuses. FML
unlucky
Tallahassee, United States
Today, I dislocated my shoulder. My doctor failed to fix it, but did succeed in practically dislocating the other one. FML
metalmeow
Today, after taking care not to hurt myself during my workout, I injured my shoulder extricating myself from my sports bra. FML
kylie
Unimpressed
Today, my doctor told me that I have severely and permanently injured my shoulder. Last week, I attempted to lift more weight than I normally do in an effort to impress my boyfriend. He was not impressed. In fact he said that most kids can lift more than that. FML
Anonymous
College Place, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML
one_BAMF
Canada
Today, I dislocated my shoulder. How? I went to a party with some friends and they each bet me $20 I couldn't lick my elbow. I guess I proved them wrong. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Overdoing it a bit
Today, I masturbated so hard I got a cramp in my forearm muscle so unexpectedly that my hand spasmed, slipped off my penis, and I punched myself in the face. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Painful romance
Today, while my spouse and I were 'doing the do' we went to change positions… but instead we changed the location of their shoulder joint. Fully dislocated. FML
too eager
Hurstville, Australia
Ready for anything
Today, I had a date with an amazing girl so in the shower I wanted to make sure I was extra clean. With the soaped up shower puff in hand I tried to get as much of my back as I could which led to me pushing too far and dislocating my shoulder. FML
Top comments
turtlemansam 6
Can't you just make up an excuse ?
allmidnighteyes 11
How the **** do you ********** intensely enough to dislocate your shoulder?
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Comments (265)
msshaye 0
Has anyone stopped to think that it was a female and she was maybe fisting? (sorry for the mental image)
bashehm 0
did you watch the south park episode "sexual healing" and decide that you wanted to try that batman costume choke sex thing and your failsafe worked but you fell and dislocated your shoulder, because that's the only way I could see that happening
KillaK3y 0
stop jerking it sop hard
alexarose 0
ydi for masturbating in the first place.
asu28 0
goodness...so instead of busting a nut, you busted your shoulder..
evoke45 0
just wo lol
janzup77 0
dude, just how do you **********?
unibomber189 0
well someone likes the rough stuff, take it easy next time.
ninjadude853 0
wait, why'd you need to explain it to your parents and not just the doctor? perfect time to use doctor patient conidentiality
mindeatingpengui 0
it's all in the wrist, is it not??