He does have a point - FML

Nearly

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30

You deserved it 3

27/09/2021 06:27

Today, I have to get up and go to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 95

Spicy

Spicy

Unfriended

By thethrowawayplace - 15/10/2021 17:00

Spicy

Today, my friend was watching a black guy getting yelled at by the cops on TV. He then decided to yell, "Wow, ni***** really don't know how to behave!" When I didn't react, he yelled it over and over, until I slunk into my room. He knows I'm part black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 61

Grind mindset

By MyStomachHurts - 15/10/2021 05:00

Spicy

Today, my boss wrote me up for taking too many bathroom breaks. I tried calling in sick with a bad case of indigestion, but he told me to just power through it because, "it can't possibly be that bad." I have been in severe, persistent discomfort the whole damn day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 30

He does have a point

By Ksweety_fml - 05/10/2019 14:00

Today, I texted someone and typed, "lol". My boyfriend asked me why I put "lol". I told him because I thought it was funny. He looked at me weird and said, "But you didn't laugh." Now he thinks I'm weird because I didn't actually laugh out loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 210

You deserved it 445

Late term

BO Central

Judge not lest ye be judged

06/04/2013 17:06

Today, my dad had a little too much to drink. When he's that drunk, he likes to pepper me with a lot of random questions. He asked if I've ever tried hard drugs, and if I want to die. I answered no to both of the questions, and he demanded to know why not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 727

You deserved it 2 970

19/08/2010 01:26

Today, I gave blood. He sneezed while he stuck the needle in my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 940

You deserved it 2 867

25/09/2014 06:21

Today, I was told by my doctor I should start eating meat again after two years of vegetarianism, in an effort to be healthier. After horrid gas after my first turkey sandwich, I was told that my body no longer has the enzymes to digest meat. My efforts to be healthy crippled my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 784

You deserved it 16 608

23/10/2012 16:01

Today, after years of being terrified of those biscuit cans that pop when you unwrap them, I finally decided I'd open one myself. I'm sitting in the hospital with a sliced hand from the lid and can feel therapy in my future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 704

You deserved it 4 418

24/01/2017 20:00

Today, my hand fell asleep while I was masturbating. My own body rejected me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 785

You deserved it 1 573

Hot tub

By Anonymous - 03/08/2012 08:21

Today, my soon-to-be stepson, 13, decided that he and I needed to spend "more quality time" together. His idea? We should start "bonding" by taking a bath together. When I said no, he told me I was being unfair, and that if I really loved him, I'd do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 970

You deserved it 2 675

20/11/2010 14:00

Today, a cop almost rear-ended my car, slammed on the gas with no warning, swerved around me, flipped me the bird, then cut me off and then drove a full ten miles under the speed limit. When I changed lanes to overtake him, he pulled me over for road rage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 182

You deserved it 4 554

05/02/2011 17:22

Today, I cried harder than I have in years. I was babysitting, and watching Pokémon to pass the time. It was the episode where Ash, Dawn, and Brock on the show went their separate ways, and may never be together again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 866

You deserved it 37 402

19/01/2009 17:59

Today, my boyfriend's mother told me she had fantasies about throwing him out a window when he was a baby because she was so depressed and couldn't handle the stress. The worst part is he wants to get married. She'd be my mother-in-law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 604

You deserved it 4 242

07/03/2014 02:52

Today, I went to an auction for the first time. When the run-down house I wanted to bid for came up, I opened bidding at £12,000 and surprisingly won. Feeling pleased, I turned to the person next to me and said, "Lucky me!" She replied, "Yes, lucky you!" and then under her breath said, "Cockhead". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 130

You deserved it 9 304

You're Gonna Miss Me When I'm Gone

By Lonely - 05/12/2020 07:58

Today, my only daughter and her boyfriend sat me down for an important talk. I was thrilled, thinking they were engaged or pregnant. They actually wanted to tell me they're moving half way around the world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 829

You deserved it 131

22/05/2009 02:45

Today, while cleaning out a closet with my mother, I found a wish list from when I was five. On that list, I wished my parents would divorce. Not only did that seriously hurt my mom, but now she thinks I'm the devil because my wish came true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 225

You deserved it 12 807

Give it your best shot

By Staywidowed - 08/04/2021 23:00

Spicy

Today, marks almost two years of being sexually inactive after being widowed. It also happened to be the day I made an uncharacteristic decision. I hooked up with a male friend. I'm so out of practice, I honestly believe round-two the next morning was out of pity more than actual interest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 976

You deserved it 177

30/10/2012 01:30

Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 650

You deserved it 2 906

03/02/2009 21:38

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my porn addicted roommate watching a gynecologist exam online. He asked me to watch it with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 471

You deserved it 4 242

03/04/2012 18:19

Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 674

You deserved it 27 140

16/11/2009 21:54

Today, after being turned away by nearly all the restaurants in the area, I tried applying at Burger King. They too turned me away. I have a Culinary School Degree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 322

You deserved it 3 093

23/04/2009 19:51

Today, I had an interview for a job in a professor's lab. He seemed like a really nice, grandfatherly old guy. We got up to go take a look around the lab, and he held out his arms really wide to me... so I went in for a hug. Turns out he was just gesturing for me to go through the door first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 707

You deserved it 52 655

31/10/2012 17:09

Today, I discovered a brown recluse spider in my house. Before I could smash it, it escaped under the door. Now I'm freaked out and wearing boots and gloves, clutching at my kittens and waiting for it to appear. My dad laughs everytime he walks past. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 608

You deserved it 4 592

13/08/2009 00:10

Today, I was at a clothing store. I tried on a dress, but decided it was too much for me. Taking it off, I realize my hair was tangled in the big security button. The employees had to bring me to the front of the store, lay me on the counter, and take the button out in front of a laughing crowd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 587

You deserved it 4 348

27/07/2009 18:22

Today, my brother decided it would be funny to squirt disappearing ink on my wedding dress right before I walked down the aisle. It didn't disappear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 719

You deserved it 3 356

01/11/2009 04:35

Spicy

Today, I received a 4 page text message from my mom explaining what she was going to do to me tonight in full detail. I am one name below her boyfriend on her contact list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 316

You deserved it 2 580

28/11/2009 12:22

Today, I had to look at my positive eBay feedback to feel loved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 975

You deserved it 6 203

10/12/2009 19:51

Spicy

Today, after having a shower, I walked back into my room butt naked. As I looked up I saw the window cleaner staring right at me. I looked. He looked. And without thinking I dropped straight to the floor to hid myself, then realized my naked butt was still staring right at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 506

You deserved it 6 743

10/06/2018 15:00

Today, I ended up in the hospital due to a severe acid reflux attack. I knew I had acid reflux for years, but was never allowed to get it checked out. Why? My dad told me I was too young to have it and that I was making it up. I now have to see a specialist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 065

You deserved it 259

16/11/2015 02:34

Today, after my close friend had his baby, he told me that he was no longer going to be selling weed at his house. I was happy for him, because it's unsafe. Until I found out he was still selling at my house with the help of my roommates, without telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 876

You deserved it 3 887

04/02/2012 20:22

Today, I tried to inconspicuously hock a loogie. It went down my bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 430

You deserved it 34 589

21/12/2008 07:00

Today, I played a table tennis final in public. After winning, I went to shake my opponent's hand. He doesn't react or move. It was only the first set. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 112

You deserved it 12 212

11/03/2011 01:44

Today, while driving home I saw a few deer running beside me. I stopped to let them go in front. Instead, one face-plants, ramming into the side of my brand new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 090

You deserved it 4 769

08/01/2013 07:44

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 225

You deserved it 5 705

FOOTBALL player reveals TRUTH!

By fml9124 - 28/01/2021 20:01

Today, I told my wife Philip Rivers retired. Being born and bred in Baltimore, she hates anything Colts now. "Philip is a stupid name", she says. I pointed out my middle name is Philip. She laughed, then said, "Are you serious?" We've been married 33 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 766

You deserved it 106

01/04/2013 14:50

Today, my fiancé dumped me because he claimed he needed to "focus on his career and his engagement." When I asked him how dumping me would help with his engagement, he immediately replied with, "No, I mean my other one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 582

You deserved it 3 676

31/10/2009 03:23

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house watching a home makeover show with her and her mom. The show's host had a giant portrait of himself on his wall and then I said, "I hate it when people do that, it's so stupid." Her mom stared at me and pointed to the portrait of my girlfriend on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 526

You deserved it 30 778

01/12/2009 17:15

Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 076

You deserved it 7 362

24/05/2013 07:18

Today, my piano teacher complimented my song, calling it great. I was proud and thanked him, then realized he was being sarcastic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 624

You deserved it 4 890

15/07/2009 17:24

Today, a fax came in at work for a specific job, and I asked the owner of the company who it was for. He replied "the round one", so I handed it to our rotund Project Manager. Apparently the owner meant the garbage can, not my fat co-worker. Now i'm the asshole of the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 335

You deserved it 44 208

08/01/2009 07:42

Today, I woke up late, didn't shave, didn't have time to iron my clothes, didn't eat breakfast, and ran into the office with beads of sweat running down my face. The meeting had been cancelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 806

You deserved it 3 277

Delayed proposal

By Anonymous - 18/07/2020 23:02

Today, my girlfriend found the engagement ring I bought and assumed it was a late birthday present. She’s now wearing it on her right hand like a signet ring and she somehow hasn’t figured out it’s a diamond and not a Swarovski. I'm now waiting for her to figure it out before I pop the question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 647

You deserved it 365

30/09/2009 06:46

Today, I was notified that I've been going to the wrong courses for 4 weeks. A friend of mine was the only person to tell me that the administration had taken the privilege to change my courses. I have now failed 5 courses due to absences and have been suspended from college for 6 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 577

You deserved it 5 364

28/12/2013 00:05

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to wake me up by sprinkling catnip over me then dropping my cat on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 138

You deserved it 3 803

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Saturday 5 October 2019 15:38

Is that something that’s even important? No! It’s not! Everyone does it. Whether he admits it or not, he’s messing your your mind.

RichardPencil 30

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Saturday 5 October 2019 17:55

You are weird. People should use LOL when they literally laugh out loud. However, your boyfriend and I are also weird because we expect the world to speak plainly and not use ridiculous exaggerations.

Comments

Send a private message

Saturday 5 October 2019 15:38

Is that something that’s even important? No! It’s not! Everyone does it. Whether he admits it or not, he’s messing your your mind.

Send a private message

Saturday 5 October 2019 16:00

You are weird. If it was truly a "LOL" you'd have laughed.

RichardPencil 30

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Saturday 5 October 2019 17:55

You are weird. People should use LOL when they literally laugh out loud. However, your boyfriend and I are also weird because we expect the world to speak plainly and not use ridiculous exaggerations.

Send a private message

Wednesday 9 October 2019 23:26

Like ROTFLMAO?

Mungolikecandy 19

Saturday 5 October 2019 20:30

I once knew someone who actually said lol rather than laughing. Now that was creepy.

Beth Baskett 12

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Saturday 5 October 2019 21:27

Was he watching your phone while you texted? I find THAT weird.

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Saturday 5 October 2019 23:23

LOL

rebelwithmouseyhair 16

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Monday 7 October 2019 15:55

but did you REALLY?

BurnInDemonFire 32

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Sunday 6 October 2019 3:58

People still use "lol"? No wonder the planet's going to Hell...

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Wednesday 9 October 2019 23:30

HOW DARE YOU! No it's going to hell because Gay Illegal Illuminati immigrants are trying to take our guns away so they can do abortions by bullet, so they can eat the babies to stop climate change. I know it's true because it's on the internet.

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Wednesday 9 October 2019 23:25

Get a dictionary, go to the word euphemism, make him read it out loud until he understands, Or dump him because you far outstrip him in the intellect department. Good thing you didn't type ROTFLMAO, otherwise he'd be wondering why you weren't on the floor with a detached buttocks.

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Thursday 17 October 2019 10:06

lol