Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
You wanker!
Today, I went to the doctor because I broke my wrist. My mom told the nurse that I broke it while masturbating. FML
Get some rest
Today, I dislocated my shoulder doing a really big stretch when I woke up. After the doctor relocated it, my dad told me I still had to do my chores. No excuses. FML
Today, I dislocated my shoulder. My doctor failed to fix it, but did succeed in practically dislocating the other one. FML
Today, after taking care not to hurt myself during my workout, I injured my shoulder extricating myself from my sports bra. FML
Unimpressed
Today, my doctor told me that I have severely and permanently injured my shoulder. Last week, I attempted to lift more weight than I normally do in an effort to impress my boyfriend. He was not impressed. In fact he said that most kids can lift more than that. FML
Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML
Today, I dislocated my shoulder. How? I went to a party with some friends and they each bet me $20 I couldn't lick my elbow. I guess I proved them wrong. FML
Overdoing it a bit
Today, I masturbated so hard I got a cramp in my forearm muscle so unexpectedly that my hand spasmed, slipped off my penis, and I punched myself in the face. FML
Painful romance
Today, while my spouse and I were 'doing the do' we went to change positions… but instead we changed the location of their shoulder joint. Fully dislocated. FML
Ready for anything
Today, I had a date with an amazing girl so in the shower I wanted to make sure I was extra clean. With the soaped up shower puff in hand I tried to get as much of my back as I could which led to me pushing too far and dislocating my shoulder. FML
Top comments
turtlemansam 6
Can't you just make up an excuse ?
allmidnighteyes 11
How the **** do you ********** intensely enough to dislocate your shoulder?
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Comments (265)
scenario_fml 0
that's some vigorous ****** masturbation, man.
TinyVixen 0
Well!! u musta been goin at it pretty hard.
rawpunk 0
epic win!!!!!!!!!!!
captainkrispy 2
how does that happen?
danipoo4u 0
Haha that is hilarious! You are trying to have rough sex with yourself. That just about is impossible with less than 2 people lol
LeexaaFreeszh 0
Ooooooh.. Embarrassing !
doof_fisch 2
Sorry to hear you dislocated your FAPula.
Trollz4daLULZ 2
HAHAHA, #229's comment just got this FML added to favorites. I'm pissed at myself for not thinking of that.
XxMargoxX 0
^Win.
JakeTheGr8 0
This is definitely a time where you lie.
alfiozm 0
LMAO dude get a girl go easy on the masterbating
ianarmstrong 0
haha FAPula #229 is a genious